Dec. 25, 2002 Christmas Morning

6:00am.

"You were wrong Spike." She whispered eyes filled with tears as she sorrowfully looked down at Spike's still broken body, lying in her bed.

Dec. 23, 2002 4:00pm

After three long, hellish weeks, they had finally located him. Xander had gone back to the army base where he'd once gotten a rocket launcher to kill the Judge and had gotten not only a few more of those, but some 'smart bombs' as well.

If they wanted an apocalypse, she would damn well give them one.

But how could they kill those in the cave, without killing Spike as well?

If he wasn't already dead.

He can't be dead, Buffy had told herself over and over again.

"I feel like I'd somehow know it, feel it, if he was dead." She'd told Xander and Willow. They had just looked at her sadly and shook their heads. They really thought he was already gone and had tried to tell Buffy, but she wouldn't hear it. She'd just shake her head and walk away.

"No, he's not. Spike's not dead. I'd know. I'd know." She would tell them again.

In order to kill the First's ubervamp and cohorts, the rocket launcher and smart bombs were a good idea anyway. Whether or not they found Spike. The only fly in the ointment, as far as Xander could see it, would having to go in and do a reconnaissance mission into the caves instead of just blowing them to kingdom come.

"You see, right there?" Willow asked Buffy and Xander, who were looking over her shoulder to the map on the computer screen.

"There's an entrance from the sewers to about within 2 feet of the cave wall. We can get to that point from entering the sewers two doors down from The Bronze. It's behind the bakery. We should be able to get in there at night without any problem." Willow said.

"Sounds like a plan. Once we get the vamps out of there, we can blast a nifty little hole right through that wall, get in, look for Spike, get out." Xander said.

"You mean get Spike out." Buffy corrected him.

"Yep, get Spike out." Xander answered, though he didn't believe they'd actually find Spike.

Dawn and Willow had gone and "borrowed" some flame-retardant safety clothing and gear, as Anya shamelessly flirted with and distracted the firemen on the midnight shift.

Giles and the slayers-in-training had gone to the hospital morgue, stolen three newly dead corpses (after saying a prayer of forgiveness for what they had to do) and some fresh blood from the local Red Cross.

"Buffy?" Giles said, calling her from his cell phone. "Are you ready?"

"We're almost to the cave wall." She answered, removing her flame-retardant glove and mask to take the call.

"Okay, as soon as I have a sighting, I'll let you know. Remember that you will only have about 5 minutes to get Spike out. The bomb will detonate in 15 seconds after it's launched. After that, anything in there will be disintegrated." He warned. "Remember, when you feel the phone vibrate, that's the cue. I don't know if this ubervamp has super hearing, but I don't want to take any chance with giving ourselves away by talking. Remember, 5 minutes from the second you feel the phone vibrate."

"I know. We'll get in and get out, whether we find Spike or not. I just need 5 minutes."

In a Winnebago he'd rented, Giles had heated the blood to 98.6 degrees on the camper's stove and now began pumping it into the corpses. They then placed one corpse near the entrance to the cavern, and the others at a farther distance, hoping to lure the ubervamp and any other vamps outside.

They waited. Finally, it appeared; it's bald head and razor sharp teeth shining in the moonlight. It sniffed the air a few minutes, then zeroed in on its "prey," savagely biting down on it and devouring it in less than 30 seconds.

A moment later, a second ubervamp appeared and then a third.

"Good God, how many of these are there?" Giles asked.

The second vamp had found another body and began feeding on it when the other two savagely attached it. In a couple of minutes they had pulled its head off. Giles and Willow watched in fascinated horror as the headless body tried to roll towards it's own head, hands reaching out for it. When the other ubers saw this, they quickly smashed the head and the body lay still.

Giles quickly typed into the phone's Instant Messenger, "DESTROY IT'S HEAD!" and pressed send.

As one of the vamps returned to the next corpse, the other one got ready to attack it, when all of a sudden it stopped what it was doing as it looked toward the van.

"Giles, it heard us." Willow barely whimpered.

Three seconds later, the vamp had cleared the 200 yards and was on top of the camper, prying open the ceiling with its long nails.

Giles screamed, "Aim for its head Willow, its head!"

Shaking almost uncontrollably and without any time for a spell, Willow summoned her inner strength, took a deep breath and...

It's ugly head appeared as the camper's roof gave way to the strong ripping.

"NOW!" Commanded Giles as Willow fired the rocket launcher point blank at the vamp.

Half of its head came off and most of the roof, but two seconds and half a head short, it started coming back.

"AGAIN!"

Willow's aim was surer this time and the now totally headless vamp fell down dead.

The other vamp hadn't taken any time to realize where there were real humans and was now on top, too.

"I've got this one, Willow." Giles said, as he blew its bloody head off. As the sun started rising, what was left of their bodies instantly disintegrated.

Giles quickly glanced down at his watch. 5:37:30am. Only 2:30 minutes more he thought, as he readied the "smart bomb" for delivery.

Buffy felt the phone against her hip as it vibrated. She grabbed it with her ungloved hand 5:35:15am and the message, "DESTROY IT'S HEAD!"

"Xander, now!" Buffy shouted through her mask, as Xander blasted a four-foot hole in the old crumbling walls of the sewer.

They jumped in through the hole and started heading up a passage. Just then a common garden variety vamp came running down the passage to attack them. Not wanting to waste good ammunition on it, she quickly dispatched it with a stake. Another fifty yards they came to a fork. Buffy looked at her watch 5:36:45. Only 3:15 minutes left. She made herself stop and be silent.

Xander cried. "Come on Buffy, which way? Time's running out!"

"Shhh." Buffy held up her hand. With her slayer's concentration she listened. She felt nothing, heard nothing.

Then, ever so slight, ever so faint, she heard his wounded heart speak her name, like a whisper on the wind. It came from the passage to her right.

"This way!" She shouted to Xander, taking off at full speed to make up the time.

She came out of the passage and saw him lying on the ground, an ubervamp kicking him in the mouth, or what must have been his mouth. So disfigured was he, she barely recognized him.

"NOW XANDER! DESTROY IT'S HEAD!" She screamed.

Xander took aim and blasted the head right off and into a million subparticles.

"Oh my God, Spike!" She said, as she came over to him.

"We're here Spike, we're here. We've come to take you home." She felt her eyes grow moist.

For Spike's part, all he could do was moan, he was incapable of any sort of speech, so severe was his injuries. Even if he'd been conscious, she doubted he could walk. His legs were swollen to three times their normal size and were lying at funny angles.

"Jesus, Joseph, and Mary!" Xander whispered upon seeing Spike.

"Come on, we'll have to carry him." Said Buffy.

"Buffy, I'll carry him, you grab the rocket launchers and watch our back." Xander said.

Xander lifted the mostly unconscious Spike up and over his shoulder. Spike cried out in unbearable pain.

"Sorry Spike, we gotta get you out of here, buddy." Xander said, feeling as much sympathy as he ever had for the vampire.

Buffy looked down at her watch. 5:39:15. Only :45 minutes left.

"We gotta get out, only 45 seconds left. Run!" Buffy yelled.

As they were turning back to the main tunnel, they saw an ubervamp advancing quickly.

This time Buffy was prepared. With cold precision, she took aim and FIRE! Off with it's head!

Stepping around the body, they ran down the tunnel.

She saw the opening to the sewer. "Here Xander, here!"

"Go through and help me with Spike." Xander said.

"He's through, I got him!" Buffy said, taking off.

"Right behind you, Buffster!"

She felt the air getting quaky and thick.

The blast was blindingly bright, even in the sewer.

The fireball was chasing them up the sewer.

"Protect Spike!" She yelled at Xander.

As the heat and the blast enveloped them, they stopped, huddled over Spike with their protective gear, hoping he'd at least be somewhat protected.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHHAARRRRRRRRRRRRH!" Screams of agony as the heat of the fire reached parts of Spike's sensitive, exposed, and already broken body.

The fireball finished its race to the end, blowing off the sewer cover, 100 feet into the air and onto the roof of The Bronze.

Xander and Buffy each try to carry the now totally unconscious vampire through the sewers. They don't say anything, but the smell of human flesh and hair permeates even the flame-retardant suit. At least in their minds, it does.

Out.

"Let's get him home." Buffy said.

Dec. 24, 2002 Christmas Eve Day 1:00pm

"I've done what I can for him." Said 'Greenberg, the Vamp Doctor' that Clem had brought with him, after Buffy's frantic call for help.

"I've set his legs, removed the dead skin, and dressed his wounds. Now it's up to him." He said.

Greenberg shook his head. "I've never seen a vampire survive this much torture. He may not, still. You should know within 24 hours if he'll make it or not. Either you'll see some signs of healing or you'll see further deterioration. If that's the case..." He shook his head sadly.

Buffy walked him to the door.

"Is there anything I can do?" Asked Buffy.

Greenberg looked at her. "I know Spike. He came to me once, to ask for something for a broken heart." He said, looking questioningly at Buffy. "Unfortunately, that wasn't a medical condition and so I couldn't really help him out with anything there.

"May I make a suggestion, without being staked?"

Buffy nodded.

"If you love him, as I think you must, since you went to rescue him and since you never staked him all these years...If you love him, tell him. Now. It may help him to heal. It may be the only thing that can help. And if you don't, tell him anyway, lie a little, at least he'll die happy, having heard you say it." He patted her hand gently and was gone.

Buffy closed the door and headed back to the living room.

"I'll be upstairs with Spike." She told them. "You guys go ahead and do whatever you were going to do this evening."

"We're staying right here Buffy." Willow said. "I've already got dinner started. Dawn went to get some decorations for the tree." She pointed to the little tree that Xander had brought over from his apartment.

"We'll bring you up something to eat, Buffy."

"Okay." Buffy said, heading up the stairs.

She stopped at the door, steadying herself to go in.

She walked over to the bed. Spike's legs were in two casts, his right arm was totally covered in dressing, as was most of his chest, stomach, and thighs. His left hand and arm also had heavy bandages on them, with only his fingers showing. His face was black and blue, lips cracked, nose broken, and his right eye was so swollen, it looked like half an orange. His hair was scorched, with much of it missing. A bit of blonde and brown curls, sticking up from the surrounding black, ashy burnt remains of his hair.

Buffy stood there in shock, taking in what was left of Spike. She wanted to throw herself over him, beg his forgiveness for every wrong she'd ever railed down on him. She knew that if anyone was responsible for his present condition, she was. If she hadn't treated him so badly last year, if only she'd treated him fairly, then things wouldn't have gotten so crazy, he wouldn't have attacked her, out of months of frustration, wouldn't have gone to get his soul, wouldn't have been used by the First. Wouldn't be in the condition he was in now.

He moaned out in pain.

She knew what she had to do.

She went to her closet, found what she was looking for and came back to the bed. She stood poised over him, with stake in hand, a tear rolling down her face.

"Buffy," He moaned, saying her name aloud for the first time since they found him.

Quickly, she put the stake behind her back.

"I'm here Spike. I'm right here." Buffy said, lightly touching his fingers.

"Buhhhhfe?" He spoke with terrible difficulty, taking long pauses between each syllable.

"Do…….."

"You……."

"Know……?"

"Do I know what, Spike?" She asked him as he tried to curl his fingers around hers.

"What……"

"Kept……."

"Me……"

"Going……?"

"What Spike?" She asked him, her heart breaking for him.

"That……."

"You….."

"Believe…."

"In….."

"Me….!"

Spike finally got the last words out, before once again passing out.

"Oh God, Spike," Buffy said, dropping the stake, with a lump in her throat, tears running down her face.

"Oh God Spike, I tried to find you! I'm so sorry I couldn't find you sooner, save you sooner. Please stay here, with me. Come back to me, don't leave me. Please Spike, please don't leave me." She cried.

Willow and Xander ran into the room, hearing her cry.

"What's wrong Buffy?" They asked.

She just shook her head. They came up and hugged her.

Finally she told them that Spike had talked to her, but she didn't tell them what he'd said, she just couldn't, it was too painful. Painful because she could have believed in him so long ago, before any of this had happened. But she'd made him prove himself over and over again. Let him torture himself, get tortured, before she could believe in him.

"He'll get better Buffy." Willow said, trying to comfort her friend, though she didn't really expect that Spike would survive the night.

Dec. 25, 2002 Midnight Christmas

Buffy had sat in a chair next to Spike the whole night, only leaving for a bathroom break when Xander relieved her.

Now as the church clock struck 12:00 she realized what day it was.

"Merry Christmas, Spike." She said softly, bending over to give him a kiss on top of his head on the only spot that looked unharmed. She'd been afraid to kiss his lips for fear of hurting him, so burnt they were.

He moaned in response to her voice, her kiss. It was the first time he moaned that the sound didn't rip her heart right out of her chest. It was still a moan, but not a too terribly painful one.

Taking his fingers once again, and not knowing what else to do for him, she decided to sing some Christmas songs she knew, hum other ones she didn't know the words to.

"If you can withstand my singing, then I think you'll be alright, Spike." She told him.

Dec. 25, 2002 Christmas Morning 4:30am

Buffy woke up, her hand that held his shaking, as Spike shivered uncontrollably on the bed.

"Oh my God, Spike!" She cried out.

She'd dreamed the color red. His blood over the wheel of torture. Hers.

She knew what she had to do, what she wanted to do.

Going into bathroom she came back with something in her hand.

Taking off all her clothes, she lay down next to Spike, hugging him to her and put her face up to his ear.

"Spike," She whispered. "Take my warmth, take my strength. Get better, for me."

"Buffy." He moaned, as he felt her warm skin next to his icy skin.

Never had she felt him so cold. Colder than his normal cool skin that use to feel so delicious next to hers. This was colder than cold.

He shivered next to her, as she tried to warm him. He felt her smooth, warm skin.

"Buffy," He said, again, trying to drink in her warmth, but still shivering, knowing death and the devils of hell were finally coming for him.

"I, I don't want to leave." He whispered to her.

"What? What?" She said in alarm. "Don't you dare leave me! Not now! Not when I've just found you! NO, NO, NO!" You are not leaving me!" She babbled.

"I need you, Spike, please!" She said, hugging him tighter.

She then released him and grabbed what she had gotten from the bathroom.

Taking the razor blade, she cut into her wrist.

"Spike, take my strength, take my warmth, take my blood." She said, offering her wrist to him.

He opened his eye towards her suddenly, as he felt the blood drip down into his mouth.

"Buffy, no!" He said, trying to turn away from her.

"Yes. YES. Please, Spike, stay, get strong, drink from me, let yourself heal. Please." Buffy pleaded as she once again gave him her wrist.

The blood dripped into his mouth as she held it above him, until finally, with a small cry, he brought his arm up, pulling her wrist down to his mouth.

Like a child nursing watches his mother, Spike watched Buffy with eyes changing from blue to yellow, then back to blue as he drank in her blood, her life, his salvation.

Like a mother watching her child nurse, Buffy watched Spike with hazel eyes changing from clear to cloudy, then back to clear as he drank in her blood, for his life, her salvation.

Ten minutes later, he stopped. He licked her wounds, with healing saliva.

Holding a much less cold Spike to her less warm skin, they fell asleep.

Dec. 25, 2002 Christmas Morning 5:45am

About an hour later, Buffy had gotten up to use the bathroom and put back on her clothes. She had done what she could for Spike and it had helped.

He had stopped shivering and she'd seen some signs of healing. His face was looking better, his eye was much less swollen and his hair seemed to be trying to grow back on his less red scalp.

Dec. 25, 2002 Christmas Morning 6:00am

"You were wrong Spike." She whispered eyes filled with tears as she sorrowfully looked down at Spike's still broken body, lying in her bed.

Spike stirred, awaken by her words. "About what?"

"The reason I can't stake you. You were wrong. You said, 'We both know its not love.'

You were wrong, Spike. It was, it is." She said, her voice breaking. "It is love Spike, it is, it always was."

"I want to live, I want you to live, I want to have a normal life, I want to live, with you, live with you!" She said.

"Buffy!" Spike said, his face filled with wonder, holding his arm out to her.

She came down to the bed, to him. He leaned up painfully on his now healing right arm, caressing her face with the fingers of his left hand.

"Buffy, I love you so much, you know that. I want to live, too. Want to be with you, love you, live with you. Be alive." Spike said.

"But we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, if its even going to come, but one thing I know. If I never live another minute, another second, what you've just given me…" He shook his head in wonder, his voice breaking with emotion.

"If I never live another second, it will have been all worth it. Like I've lived forever already, because of your love. Forever. For eternity."

"So don't worry about tomorrow Buffy, love is eternal, without time, forever. We'll always have that and doesn't matter if you're alive or not, its for always, forever." Spike said, kissing her lips softly.

Buffy realized he was right. Alive or not, their love was eternal, always would be, they'd always have that, always be together, no matter what happened tomorrow in the physical world of Sunnydale.

"You're right, Spike." She said, nodding.

"I love you, Spike. Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too Buffy. Merry Christmas."

The End.