CHAPTER 81 – A QUESTION OF ETHICS

JULY 7, 2008

MONDAY

3:30pm

"Buffy? Buffy?" she heard Dawn whisper, and felt her hand on her shoulder.

She hadn’t realized that she'd fallen asleep. She quickly looked over to see that William appeared to be asleep now. His breath was steady and he was snoring softly.

Dawn was standing on the other side of the bed, behind William.

"We're here," Dawn whispered.

Buffy shook her head, confused.

"Sedona. Oak Creek Canyon, to be exact. Xander's setting up his tent. He wasn't sure if he should or not, considering," Dawn motioned to William.

"I think it'll be fine," Buffy answered.

"Do you need anything, Buffy? We're going to go ahead and start an early dinner."

"No, I'm fine. I don't want to leave him, he might wake up..."

"Okay, just let me know if you want anything. I can bring you a plate or something, a drink..."

"Maybe later. Maybe William will want something, too."

Buffy lay there for the next hour, with her eyes shut, but unable to go back to sleep. As she started smelling food, her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten since the piece of fry bread hours and hours ago. They hadn't even had lunch today.

She heard the door open slowly and Xander came in and with him, the smell of dinner, "Thought you might like something. Both of you," he said, holding up two plates.

"How's he doing?" he asked.

"Just sleeping, as far as I can tell," Buffy whispered, "I don't know if I should try to wake him for dinner. I don't want him to..."

"I know. I just thought I'd bring you something in case he wakes up. He pulled two cans of coke from his back pockets and set them down on the bedside table.

"Thanks, Xander."

He smiled at her, nodding.

"Oh, how's his head? Do you need any more ice?"

"Nah, the bump went down, think it's okay now."

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything."

"Xander?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Just thanks."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"See you in a while then," Xander said, closing the door after himself.

Buffy moved a little to see if it would disturb William. He didn't stir, so she carefully extricated herself from around him, and sat up in the bed, she reached over and grabbed one of the plates off the table, then settled herself right next to him, so that her legs were still touching him. She didn't want him to feel for one moment that he was alone, should he wake and still be lost in that awful nightmare that he found himself in today. Just thinking about it, made her nearly lose her appetite, but she reminded herself, that she needed to keep up her strength, so that she could take care of him.

Dawn came in a while later and convinced Buffy to at least take a bathroom break. She took her place on the bed, sitting next to William.

Afterwards, Buffy took a quick walk outside, where Willow and Xander were sitting.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow said, "how's your guy?"

"Same. Guess he's sleeping now. I just don't know what he's going to be like when he wakes up. I don't think I'll be able to stand it, if he's in pain," she said quietly.

"I thought you said that the bump was down," Xander said.

"That's not what she means," Willow said, looking at Buffy with understanding.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, Buff. I hope he's not in pain either. I've sort of grown fond of him these past few days."

Buffy smiled wryly at him, "Me, too."

He laughed softly, "I don't think that was ever in question."

"Well, in fact, you did use to question it; my morals, my sanity, my...oh, shit, Xander, I'm sorry. You were being nice and I just sounded like a bitch to you. In fact, you've been great to me and to William. I don't know what's wrong with me..."

"Forget it. Besides, you're right. Bygones, okay? He was different, I was different. Just saying, he seems okay now. He may have even been okay that past year, but there was too much going on for me to take much notice. That and well…you know why, but I'm glad you called me and that we took this trip; glad that you met Angela and the kids, that I got to see you, Willow, and Dawn again. And even Spike," he said, using his former name to let Buffy know he meant it.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me, Xander."

"Buffy?"

"Yeah, Willow?"

"I was talking to Xander and you know, this place, Sedona, was voted the most beautiful place in America a few years back in The Weekend Magazine. So...I suggested, and Xander agreed, that it might be nice to spend one day here, tomorrow. Unless you are in a hurry to get back."

She let out a sigh of relief, "I think that's a great idea. I was worried about..." she looked at them, "You knew that, didn't you?"

"Well, we thought that it might be better for William that he rest tomorrow, instead of us being on the road all day, then you winding up with him all by yourself tomorrow night. So, yeah, we kind of figured, but seriously, I'd like to see what all the hubbub is about this place, take a look around, explore, shop, see some of the art galleries that are so numerous here," Willow said.

"What about you?" Buffy said, looking at Xander, "I was going to ask you earlier, when you came into the bedroom, but I didn't want to be selfish, take up any more of your time, or keep you from getting back to your family. You've all done so much for us, already."

"I already talked to Angela tonight, she said it was fine, in fact, she was going to catch up with an old friend she hadn't seen for about 10 years and this will give her some more time, too."

"Well, I’d better get back in. Thanks you guys."

"Don’t worry, Buffy. He’ll be okay."

"I hope so, Willow, I hope so."

Buffy walked into the bedroom. Dawn was still sitting in the same place.

"Anything?"

"Nope, nada. Same old, same old."

"Okay, well, I’m back and probably for the night, so you don’t have to come back."

"I probably will anyway," she said, smiling as she got up, "can’t get rid of me that easy, you know that."

"I know," Buffy said, returning the smile. "Thanks, Dawn."

After Dawn had left, Buffy changed out of her clothes and into her nightgown, then crawled back into bed, once more wrapping her arms around William.

He stirred a little and seemed to shift into her embrace. She smiled, hoping that was a good sign. Besides his shivering, he hadn’t made a move in all the hours that he’d been in bed.

She pulled the covers up over them, and rubbed his back, her hand wandered up to the back of his head. She felt for the bump and was gratified to not feel it any longer. Her fingers lifted the waves of his hair, then let them fall back into place. She inhaled the smell of the shampoo he’d used yesterday and for some reason, that made her teary-eyed. Such simple things she had missed in her life, the smell of a man’s hair in the bed next to her, the warmth of a beloved one’s body, lying beside her. Man, beloved, Spike, William. These are the things that she thought of as she drifted off to sleep.

Willow told Xander and Dawn that she was going to take a short hike and try to find a clear signal so that she could call Kennedy, which was the half-truth in any case. She’d actually called Kennedy earlier in the morning before they’d even left Mesa Verde, as it had been late afternoon back home in England. However, she did need a clear signal.

Finally, atop an outcropping, she found one. She pressed her #2 preset on her cell phone, holding the button down for a few seconds and soon heard it ringing.

"Hello?" said a sleepy voice.

"Margaret? This is Willow, I’m sorry to be calling so late, or early, as the case may be, but I need to talk to Althenea. It’s important."

"Hang on, I’ll go get her," Margaret said, putting the phone down.

A couple of minutes later she heard shuffling, then the phone being picked up.

"Willow? It’s Althanea, what’s up?"

Willow took a deep breath, "I have a question about ethics."

She heard Althanea’s laugh, "At this time of night?"

Willow flustered, "Well, yeah, I…"

"I’m kidding, Willow! Tell me about it. Does it have something to do with the Shanshu Prophecy?"

Willow breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yes. Well, more like the Shanshu himself."

Willow then told her all about what had happened that day at the Grand Canyon, William’s reaction; the fear and terror that he’d seemed to be experiencing, and his state of being since then.

Althanea listened thoughtfully, "And you’re thinking about doing what?"

Willow swallowed, "I was thinking that it might be, not only helpful, but warranted to do a ‘forgetting’ spell on William. He’s come so far since we got him out of the hospital. It seems so unfair that right before him and Buffy are finally getting home, to have this happen to him. I just wanted to give them a chance to proceed with their lives right now."

"So you think that it was only a fluke that brought him to the Grand Canyon, to the cusp of remembering?"

Willow told her what she’d told Buffy about how everything was connected, about things, places having their own energies. Of course, Althanea knew this; she’d been one of those at the coven to teach her of those things.

"So, by your own admission, then, you can’t quantify that this was a fluke."

"Well, no, not a fluke, but I still don’t see that this experience or him being in a catatonic state is something that can be good."

"But things don’t always have to be ‘good,’ they just have to be. Besides, you don’t know if it was good or bad, ultimately."

Willow sighed, "I know. That’s what I’m having trouble with. I want to fix this, fix him, make it better."

"And there lies your ethical dilemma, am I right?"

"Yes."

"Willow, you’ve come such a long way. When we first met, you would have never considered asking anybody about the right way to proceed, or questioned your own integrity in the use of magic. Of course, one of the things we hope to have taught you, is to trust yourself, but also not to be ashamed to ask for help when you need it."

"So, what do you think?"

"You know that I can’t answer that for you. All I can do is to give you some things to think about, help you clarify your own thoughts. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how to handle the gifts you’ve been given."

"I know, but the coven granted me the power to provide William and Buffy with a protection spell…"

"Right, against outside forces that would interfere with the ultimate resolution of the prophecy."

"Why couldn’t this fall under the guise of that? I mean, William suffering to such a degree that he can’t do anything, certainly will be a hindrance to the prophecy, wouldn’t it?"

"Assuming that it went on for another couple of years? Well, I guess so, but maybe it’s a test."

"If it is, it’s the most damned, unfair test I’ve ever seen in my life!" Willow said, frustrated.

"Willow, I have to go now, remember, it’s up to you how to use your magic. Just go with what your heart tells you is right and you should do okay."

"Thanks, Althanea," Willow said, "I’ll see you soon."

"Bye, Willow. Good luck."

"Bye," Willow said, and pressed ‘end.’ She sighed, she hated making hard decisions about her use of magic. All she knew, was that she hated seeing William suffer, hated seeing Buffy suffer right along with him, and knew that she had the tools to make it stop. What she would do with those tools, she couldn’t honestly say she knew at that moment.

She sat down on the rock she was standing on and decided to meditate on it for a while.

END CHAPTER 81

Buffy was dreaming of kissing, William’s soft lips on hers, his breath mingled with hers, his…

She opened her eyes and saw blue ones, focused back into hers. "William?" her eyes getting big.

He smiled at her, curiously, "Elizabeth. When did it become nighttime again?"

She grabbed him and kissed him, "William, William, William," she repeated again and again, between kisses.

He laughed softly at her, "What’s this?"

She laughed too, "I missed you, that’s all," she said, kissing him again.

"Why? Where did I go?"

Buffy put her hand on his cheek, "You don’t remember, do you?"

"I remember feeling rather sick and dizzy earlier, before we got to the Grand Canyon, but I don’t remember anything else. What happened? Did we go?"

"Yeah, we went. You really weren’t feeling good. Right after we got there, you sort of…well, you sort of fainted or stumbled back. In any case, you hit your head," she said, taking his hand and putting it on the bandage and on what was left of the lump. "You knocked yourself out. Well, at least knocked yourself sort of out of it, so we put you to bed, and that’s where you’ve been ever since."

"How long have I been out, as you put it?"

"About 9 hours, I’d say."

"I’m sorry, Elizabeth," William said.

"Why? Why are you sorry?"

"Because I scared you, I can see it in your face."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you couldn’t help it."

"I should’ve stayed on the RV, should’ve told you I was too sick…"

"No, I should’ve insisted, I knew you were…"

"It’s not your responsibility to take care of me, Elizabeth. I’m not a child. It’s my responsibility to take care of me. And, I’d like to…"

"What? What would you like, William?"

He didn’t want to scare her, didn’t want to impose his old-fashioned ideas onto her, didn’t want to make her run.

He shook his head, "Doesn’t matter," he said, rolling over onto his back, grimacing a bit, as he was reminded of having hit his head by the dull pain, when he laid back on the pillow.

Buffy sat up a little and looked at him, taking his hand in hers and putting it on her face, "It matters to me, what you want."

He rolled back over, sighing, "What I want is to be able to take care of you, but all it ever seems, is that you’re taking care of me. Just doesn’t seem right,

somehow, Elizabeth," he looked away, feeling ashamed. "Doesn’t make me feel like much of a man. Oh, I know, these days women take care of themselves just fine, but…it wasn’t how I was raised."

"William," she said, pulling him back towards her, "you do take care of me, just by loving me. Don’t you know that, yet? Hey, loving me…not such an easy job, either. Just ask any of the other men who tried, but failed…"

His eyes flashed with anger, "Then they weren’t men at all! They were cowards! You think loving you is hard job?" he asked, incredulously.

She shrugged, self-deprecatingly, half-serious. If history was an indicator, the answer was pretty clear.

His eyes softened as he leaned up on his elbow, smoothing back her hair, "My God, Elizabeth…loving you…that’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done in all my life. And the most fulfilling. I don’t know about any other men that have been in your life, before me, or in the years I was missing. Don’t really want to either," he said. The mere thought of her being with someone else made him beyond jealous; a nearly visceral, stomach clenching, physical reaction was more apt.

"They had to have been fools to not love you, not cherish you, not want you, not stay with you," he said, shaking his head in amazement that such a thing could even be true, that she could believe such a thing about herself.

"You left, for a while," she said, trying to make a joke, but failing; her words carried a tinge of pain she was trying to hide.

"I didn’t mean to," he said, "and I came back to you, didn’t I?" He moved his hand from her hair to her face, caressing it, "If there’s only one thing that you must believe about me it’s this: I will always find my way back to you. Always. And, I will never, ever, voluntarily leave you, Elizabeth. Never."

"I know," she said softly. He was the one who always did come back. So far.

It was maybe the nicest thing she’d ever been told. And he’d been the one to always make her feel that she had more to offer than she thought she did. She bit her tongue, trying hard not to cry, not show him how much she was afraid to lose again. Lose him again.

She swallowed, pulling herself together, "About the other stuff, how about we just take care of each other, each in our own ways? I know what you mean and what you want…let’s just wait until we get home. I promise you, William, I’ll let you take care of me, in anyway you see fit, alright?"

"Anyway I see fit?" he asked, his eyebrow arching, a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, just enough for her to notice it.

She batted her eyelashes, innocently, "Yes, anyway you see fit," she said, turning her head, so that her mouth found his fingers, alongside her face. She put her hand over his and kissed his fingers one by one, gently sucking them into her mouth.

He let out a moan, as he felt himself immediately harden. He leaned over her, turning her face to him, replacing his fingers with his mouth on hers. She let out a little whimpering sound, as she kissed him back, her hands pulling at his belt, then his zipper, freeing him.

Buffy pulled him on top of her, not even waiting for him to take his pants off. She needed him now, the connection, the joining; needed to know he was still hers, still with her, needed to feel him alive and whole.

His mouth crushed hers, as he pulled her nightgown up to her neck, put it behind her neck, as she struggled to free her arms from it. Her legs pushed his pants down as far as they could, until they were around his calves. He groaned, because now, that had restricted his movement more than if they’d remained higher up. Finally, they pushed the pants off his legs.

"Been easier if we’d done this first, eh?"

"Couldn’t wait, William," she gasped as he entered her, seconds after being freed from his jeans.

"Me either, Elizabeth, me either."

Her legs wrapped around his, pulling him into her as far as she could. She had to remind herself, not to tug at his hair, to be gentle with his still bruised head.

"Love that you’re so warm, so willing, so…love you so much," he murmured to her, as he kissed her neck, her ears, her breasts."

"Love you, too. Don’t let go, don’t let go," she moaned aloud. Inside, she silently begged, please don’t go, don’t leave me again, please, don’t go!

"Won’t let you go, I’ve got you," he panted, trying hard to hold back, "won’t let you fall, Elizabeth, got you, love you, oh God," he moaned as he felt her walls clamp down around him, pulling him deeper and deeper inside, until he was spent, too.

He lay on top her, catching his breath. When he looked up, he saw she had tears in her eyes. William shook his head, kissing each eyelid, her nose, her mouth.

"Do I make you cry?" he asked.

"Happy tears," she said sniffing a bit, trying to smile, to cover. Buffy wasn't even sure she could define for herself, much less William why she was crying. The only thing for sure, was that she couldn’t remember having ever cried as much as she had in the past few weeks, since…well, since he’d died. Now, all the time lately, she was being hit with all sorts of emotions, fear, passion, love, more fear. It was enough to make her crazy. She hated her own stupid emotions. This had been a new one, crying during sex, even during orgasm. Good grief! She hated the feeling of being so out of control; so wracked by emotions, that she barely had control over them. She’d been The Slayer for Christ’s sakes! Control was her thing, the responsibility of the world on her shoulders. And now what? Reduced to tears over…love. She knew love was supposed to make one stronger, but it also made her feel weaker and more fearful than she ever remembered. Was this what love did to everyone or only to her?

"Don’t wanna make you cry," he said, kissing her, "wanna make you laugh, make you sing," he murmured to her.

She laughed, "No, you don’t want to hear me sing, believe me."

"See? Made you laugh."

"You did. And if I sang, I’d make you laugh, believe me on that one, William!"

"Wouldn’t."

"Would."

"Never," he said, kissing her, his tongue dancing with hers, "I’ll make you sing my name."

"That I can do," she said, running her hands down his back, to his waist and beyond.

William made love to her again, and many more times that night, until she had no more tears, happy or otherwise, only joy in his touch, in their being, finally falling asleep in his arms, exhausted.

Dawn woke in the middle of the night. She stared up at the darkness, trying to remember what woke her. She heard it then, sounds coming from the bedroom. Was William in the midst of some horrible nightmare or vision? Was Buffy struggling to restrain him again? Was William back to being Spike? Should she have suggested to Buffy that he take the tranquilizers that Dr. Turner had sent along with him?

All these questions were running through her head, as she opened the door to the bedroom.

"Are you alri…"

"Dawn!"

"Oh, sheesh. Sorry. I thought…"

"I know…"

"Glad things are okay," she said, quickly retreating.

Red-faced, Dawn closed the door, then went into the bathroom.

"Damn! My poor eyes!" she said to her reflection.

Later that night, Willow waited outside the bathroom door for whoever was in there to finish up. She assumed it was Buffy.

The door opened and a voice said, "Oh, sorry, Willow. I didn’t know you were waiting."

"William! How are you?" she asked, her eyes large.

"Obviously, a lot better than before, gauging from everyone’s reaction," he replied.

She nodded.

"I’m sorry I scared everybody."

"I think we’re just glad you’re doing okay now."

"I am. Thanks. Well, G’night."

"Night, William."

Willow smiled, letting out a sigh of relief, as he closed the bedroom door.

The next morning, William rose early. He got some stuff together, then leaned over to kiss Elizabeth.

"Hmm?" she asked, "wha…what ya doin? What time is it?" she mumbled, sleepily.

"It’s early, only 6:00am. I was going to go take a shower, before we shoved off for the day. Wanted to let you know, so you didn’t worry, and ask you if you knew where they were."

She shook her head, "I really don’t, I stayed with you all day after we got here, only left once to go to the bathroom and step outside to talk to Willow and Xander."

"Oh," he felt bad now for waking her up.

"I don’t think we’re leaving today," she said, remembering.

"No?"

"Well, Willow wanted to take a look around the area, and so did Dawn. Besides, last night, we didn’t know what shape you’d be in to travel. Thought maybe you could use a day to rest."

"I feel fine, really."

"I can see that, but I think they’ve sort of got their hopes up themselves to just do some hiking and shopping today."

"I see."

"Are you disappointed?"

"A little. I was a little excited about getting to see the house finally. Our house," he said, smiling a little.

"Yeah, know what you mean. I’d suggest leaving to them, but they already changed their plans…"

"No, you can’t. I can’t. You’re right, they’ve done a lot for me, haven’t they?"

She nodded.

He didn’t say anything for a few moments.

"Well, regardless, I still really need a shower, I’m afraid."

"Why don’t you just take one here?"

"I think I’d rather use the public ones. That way I don’t use up all the water here or tie up the bathroom."

"Well, wait a minute then, I’ll get up and go with you."

"No. You’re going back to sleep. Told you I can take care of myself, and I can."

"That’s not why…"

"Elizabeth," he said, gently, "yes it is. I know you."

She was going to argue, when she heard some noise outside the window, "I think I hear Xander. At least find out where it’s at from him. And watch the back of your head, you have a cut, you know."

"Okay, I’ll go ask him. And yes, I’ll be careful," he said, grinning and gave her a parting kiss.

She sighed and snuggled back under the covers. He certainly was feeling better since last night and was quite insistent that he could take care of himself. It was kind of nice. Even if it was only for deciding where he’d take a shower. Well, considering he didn’t know which end was up yesterday, she supposed this was progress.

William walked over to where Xander’s tent was. Xander didn’t see him until he almost stumbled on him, as he came around from the other side, "Holy shit!" Xander said jumping back, "you scared me!" he said, just catching himself from making a reference to sneaking up on people and being a vampire. Score one for the Xand man!

William jumped back, too, at Xander’s reaction, "I’m sorry, I just…I just wanted to know where the showers were."

"Oh, okay. Sorry ‘bout the reaction, I just didn’t’ expect to see anyone. But, hey, you’re all up and feeling better, huh, Spike? I mean, William."

"Yes, much better," he paused, "Elizabeth told me that you helped carry me back, here, after I knocked myself out. I wanted to thank you."

"Well, not so much carried, as sort of dragged. But you’re welcome. Want some coffee, before you go? I was just making some; then I was going to go myself. We could go together, I mean, separately, but together."

William cocked an eyebrow, not quite knowing what to make of that strange statement. "Sure, coffee would be nice. Haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday."

Xander got out another mug, and measured out a heaping teaspoon of instant coffee into it, then poured the boiling water over it.

"Want anything in it?"

"No, think I’ll have it black this morning."

Xander handed him the cup; "It’s hot."

"Good."

"Here," Xander said, handing him a blueberry muffin, wrapped in cellophane, "got it at one of the gas stations."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I already had one," he lied.

"Thanks," William said, opening it and devouring it.

"That was good."

"Something to tide you over until breakfast."

They came back from the showers half an hour later. Dawn had already gotten up and had started breakfast. Willow was taking a shower, and Elizabeth was still asleep.

William went into the bedroom and put yesterday’s clothes into the garbage bag they were using for dirty clothes.

He went over to the bed and leaned over, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"You’re back," Buffy smiled; her eyes still closed.

"I told you, I always come back to you. And clean, too," he teased.

"Um," she said, inhaling deeply, as she put her arms around his neck and pulled him down to the bed; "you do smell nice."

"You, too," he said kissing her, as he pulled her into an embrace.

"What’s that?" she asked, hearing something.

"Afraid that’s my stomach letting me know it hasn’t had anything to eat, except a blueberry muffin and some coffee that Xander gave me earlier."

"I smell food. You should probably go eat, then."

"I could wait."

"No, really, go eat, William."

"Sure, luv?"

She opened her eyes and looked at his beautiful blue ones gazing back at her, so earnestly.

Buffy wanted nothing more than to fall into them and make love to this man once again, right now. Instead she said, "I’m sure. You go. I’ll be out in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay. Better hurry though, might eat everything in sight!" he said, as he gave her a little wave from the doorway.

"I will," she answered, smiling.

She lay back on the pillow and repeated the word to herself, luv. Luv. William had never called her that before. Only Spike had. She smiled to herself, feeling almost giddy, like the word had covered her in some sort of great-mood cocoon.

Finally, she got up, dressed, and went to join the others.

They were all sitting outside, in the early morning sun, at the campsite’s picnic table, when she joined them.

William made her sit down and got her a plate of eggs, sausage, pancakes, and some coffee, from off the stove.

They all made amiable chitchat about everything and nothing. What had happened to William, now a topic happily left behind, by all. They talked about what they were going to do that day, but somehow, it felt a little forced, as if their hearts weren’t in it, despite the optimistic mood.

About 20 minutes after Buffy had joined them, they heard a thunderclap and looked up, as a towering mountain of dark clouds suddenly descended from the west. Within minutes, the sky had opened up and they were deluged with a sudden downpour. They grabbed their breakfast plates and cups and ran into the RV.

"Think that’s almost the first time we’ve run into rain since we’ve been on the road," Xander said.

"Yeah, we’ve been lucky."

Half an hour later, the rain was still driving down, with no signs of abating. Willow logged onto the Internet and looked up the weather for Sedona.

"Uh-oh," she said.

"What’s uh-oh?" asked Dawn.

"Looks like it’s going to rain all day here. Seems that June, July, and August are monsoon season  in Sedona and this area."

"Crap!" Dawn said.

"Yeah, crap," Xander said, less emphatically.

"We could still shop," Willow suggested.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, "or the weather could clear up."

They all spoke at once, trying to decide the best course of action, but with less enthusiasm than before.

For a few minutes nobody said anything. Finally, Xander turned and looked at William, "What do you think?" he asked.

William cleared his throat a bit nervously, "Well, I think that if hiking is being rained out and that the only other thing to do is to go shopping, that we might as well just get back on the road."

They all smiled. Staying an extra day had felt like the right thing to do after yesterday, but now, it just seemed like an unwanted delay. The rain had just been the cincher.

"I really should be getting back to sign up for classes," Dawn said, also thinking how nice it would be to see Dr. John again.

"Yeah, I think that the airline ticket I’m holding has to be used within 28 days, so it’s getting rather close," Willow said.

"I miss the kids and Angela," Xander added.

"You okay to travel, William?" Xander asked.

"I’m fine. Really."

"And what about you, Buffy?" Xander asked.

She smiled, "Let’s do it!" They were finally going to be home. Her and William. Tonight!

"Oh, shit!" Xander said, suddenly remembering, "the tent!"

William stood up; "I’ll help you take it down."

"It’s pouring out. Maybe you guys should wait," Buffy said.

"We have raingear, don’t we?" William asked, going into the bedroom to retrieve his.

A few minutes later, him and Xander were outside in the thunderstorm taking down the tent.

Buffy looked out the window nervously, as thunder and lightening pealed around them.

"Don’t worry, Buffy. William hasn’t come this far, just to be felled by a little old thunderstorm."

"Thunder and lightening," Buffy corrected.

"Still…"

Ten minutes later, a very wet Xander and William came back in, after storing the tent in the bottom compartment of the RV.

"Whew!" Xander said, "glad I had William to help me. Thanks, man."

"You’re welcome...man," William replied, pulling off his poncho.

Just the, the rain started slowing down.

"Told you guys you should’ve waited."

"Ah, but if we had, it still would’ve been pouring. You know how that goes, Buffy, Murphy’s Law!"

"What’s Murphy’s Law?" William asked.

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong!" Dawn answered.

"Well, let’s get this show on the road then, shall we?" Xander said, as he got into the driver’s seat and pulled out onto the highway leading south toward Phoenix.

END CHAPTER 82

JULY 8, 2008

TUESDAY

9:30AM

They had been driving almost 2 hours, from the beautiful, scenic mountains from Sedona, and now into the burning hot desert that was Phoenix in July.

Although air-conditioned, the omnipresent heat from the outside could be felt both physically, as well as almost mentally by the group.

Xander stopped for gas soon after arriving on the outskirts of Phoenix. As the door to the RV opened, they immediately felt the blast furnace effect of the desert in its full glory.

"Jeez," Xander said, stepping out.

Buffy was next, followed by William.

"Ever feel anything like this?" she asked him.

He shook his head.

"Gives the term 'hot as hell,' a new meaning, huh?" Xander asked.

William nodded.

Dawn, Willow, Buffy, all went inside the convenience store, to escape the heat, while Xander gassed up the RV, and William under Xander's direction, checked on the oil, fluids, and tires.

Ten minutes later, a very red-faced Xander and William came into the store, as well, to pay for the gas and to get some ice and cold drinks.

"I've gotta take the RV across the street to the service station," Xander said, after paying for the gas.

"Why?" Willow asked.

"William discovered it was almost out of coolant. I don't know if it ran out or was about to overheat. I just want to make sure, we don't need to get stuck out in the desert with a blown radiator. Guy behind the counter called them, they can take me right away, so shouldn't be too long."

"Can they check RV's? Thought you needed to take these sort of babies to a special garage or something," Dawn said.

Everyone looked at her.

"What? I was doing my homework, when we thought we were going to have to rent one," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You're right, Dawnie," Xander said, using the familiar, "but I guess there's so many 'snow birds' around here, that lots of gas stations have special bays just for these kind of vehicles. At least, that's what Frank says," he motioned to the guy at the cashier."

"Okay, so let's go do that."

It was about half an hour later when it occurred to Buffy that she needed to call Clem. Xander was in the garage talking to the mechanic, along with William, who had eagerly gone along, interested in finding out as much as he could about cars, while he still could from Xander.

Buffy took Willow's laptop and her cell phone into the bedroom.

Luckily, Clem answered in a couple of rings.

"Clem? This is Buffy."

"Hey, Buffy. Are you calling me why I think you're calling me," he asked, unable to keep the excitement from his voice.

"I am. William and I should be home tonight. But it's probably going to be really late; more likely past midnight, by the looks of things," she answered and explained where they were and what was happening at the moment.

"Buffy!" Clem said, making a loud whooping noise into the phone, "Sorry, I’m just excited! I miss my neighbor. Neighbors," he corrected himself.

"Listen, I've been making a list of things I was going to pick you up from the grocery store. Why don't I read it to you and you tell me if there's anything else you need, or if there's something on the list you don't want."

For the next few minutes they discussed the grocery list. He'd covered most her bases, but she added some sugar, tea, and a few toiletry items. Otherwise, it seemed pretty thorough.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this for me."

"No problem. I've been looking forward to it, actually."

"Oh, Clem, before I go, could you do one more thing for me? For tonight?"

"Sure, what?"

* "Could you make sure the gate is working? I have the remote, but in case it's out for some reason, I really don't want to have to shimmy over the top of it tonight at midnight with William...just check it, okay?"

"Why don't I just go open it up around 10pm? You say you're getting in after midnight, right?"

"Yeah, you could do that. Hopefully, the remote will close it. Or I can just get out and close it. I just don't want to climb any fences tonight."

"I understand. Anything else?"

"Would you turn the lights on at the house for us?"

"Sure, Buffy. I was going to do that anyway!"

"Sounds funny to hear you call 'Spike,' William, you know?"

"I guess so. I sort of forget that I'm doing it anymore. I hardly ever call him Spike anymore. You'll know what I mean, when you see him again, get to know him again. Though, come to think of it, I did call him Spike yesterday, but that was because something happened...nevermind, I'll tell you about it later, okay?"

"Sure, Buffy. Well, see you tonight then. I don't mean I'll see you, actually, but I'll just see you, without being seen, understand?"

She laughed, "Clem, you know I've known you long enough to actually be able to answer 'yes' to that question. I've gotta go now, so I'll see you tonight, and thanks again."

"Bye Buffy. Tell William I'll see him soon, too."

"I will for sure. Bye Clem," Buffy said, smiling as she hung up. Now it was official. They really were on their way home. It also reminded her that she had to do one more thing.

She just started to turn off the phone when it rang.

"Hello?"

"Buffy? It’s Clem, I forgot to ask you something, do you have Willow’s email?"

"Um, sure, why?"

"Just something I need to ask her. Don’t worry, nothing bad, I don’t want a year’s supply of kittens or anything."

Buffy laughed, "I know. Here it is," she said, giving it to him. They hung up again, then, and she went came out of the bedroom.

"Wanna go shopping?" she asked Dawn and Willow.

"Sure, where?" Dawn asked.

"I don’t know yet, I just remembered I have to get something for Clem, though."

She found out that there weren’t any tourist-y stores within walking distance, but there was a gourmet cooking shop about 2 blocks away. After first discounting it, Buffy realized; it was more than perfect!

Willow decided to stay and make a call to Kennedy, so Buffy and Dawn walked, complaining all the way about the suffocating heat.

Buffy found an expensive set of 5 ceramic mixing bowls; each with a different Southwestern Scene: Saguaro, Kachina figures, mountains, and prickly pear. There was one other, which she almost liked better, but one scene had been of the Grand Canyon, and she didn’t want William to even chance seeing that again, not even in a picture, so she bought these ones instead.

She also bought him an apron that said, ‘Kiss the Cook,’ with a big Saguaro Cactus on the front. The background dark clouds and the cactus stood out against them.

Buffy and Dawn made their purchases; Dawn had decided to buy a few things for her apartment, too, and walked back to the garage.

"We should’ve had them pick us up," Dawn moaned carrying the box of plates she’d bought.

"Hey, got about 30 pounds of bowls here, so preaching to the choir," Buffy said.

They made it back, just as the mechanic was finishing up.

It had taken about an hour to recharge the radiator and fix some hoses, but they were finally on their way out of Phoenix.

"I know this is putting us behind the 8-ball, but it's a good thing we had it done," Xander said.

"Not a problem," Buffy said.

"They decided to take Highway 10, which would take them to closest to Orange County Airport, where Buffy could pick up her car. Since Dawn had driven to San Diego to pick up the papers from Lawrence, her car was closer to Buffy, so Buffy and William would drive Dawn back to her car, then drive home to Julian.

"You know, Buffy. I really don’t need my car tonight anyway. Xander and Willow can come back to my the apartment with me tonight, which isn’t that far from where we’re dropping you and William off, then they can drive me to San Diego tomorrow, and head out on Highway 8 back to Arizona. Or, I could just get Dr. John to give me a ride to my car. Either way."

"You and he are pretty close, aren’t you?" Buffy asked, feeling guilty that over the course of the last few months, weeks in particular all attention had been focused on her and William.

"It’s been getting there," Dawn said, evasively.

"Are you…where does he live."

"No, we’re not living together."

"I didn’t think you were," Buffy said, but then again, besides that a male’s voice hadn’t answered Dawn’s phone, she really wouldn’t know.

"But we don’t live too far apart, "Dawn continued, "he’s over quite a bit. At least he was until about 2 months ago, when he went out of town for a continuing education class, then I was finishing my semester, then he was on vacation, then I’ve been gone."

"Oh," Buffy said.

"But we’ve kept in touch by email most days."

"You have? I didn’t know. I’m sorry about that…about having kept you away from your life for all this time."

"It’s okay, Buffy. Really, you know I wanted to be here for you. And for William," Dawn said.

"I know. I just…I appreciate it so much. I’m just glad that you’ll be getting back to your own life. As you should be."

"And you to yours. Both of yours," Dawn said, smiling, quickly catching William’s eye, as he glanced up at her.

He had been looking down during the conversation, embarrassed by the attention that had been diverted from all of Elizabeth’s friend’s lives, coming to his aid, mostly. Dawn from her studies and a possible serious boyfriend, Willow all the way from England, a lover and work. Xander and his family, across the country, practically from the Atlantic to the Pacific shores. All because she asked them to, to help him. It was one of the most, if not the most humbling feelings he’d ever had.

He took a quick look at Elizabeth. What was it about this tiny girl, woman really, that she commanded such loyalty, such devotion, such love? He didn’t know what it was for them, but for him, he’d never met anybody quite like her.

They made their way across the deserts of Arizona and finally, by midday, crossed the border, not far from Blythe. They all stared at the sign welcoming them to the Great State of California. They had really done it!

There were signs up, as they crossed, warning of bringing in any fruits, vegetables, or animals that may carry diseases detrimental to agriculture in the state. There was a state employee standing there as the vehicles slowed down to take a leaflet and answer his questions regarding what they were bringing into the state.

"Weird, isn’t it? Not like we’re coming from another country," Xander said, after they’d pulled away.

"Still, California’s had its problems with non-native insects, diseases, animals, etc." Dawn said, "learned that in my ecology class."

"Me, too!" Buffy chimed in, "well, not so much an ecology class, as a biology class."

They stopped soon afterwards for gas, and so Xander could take a lunch break and a nap. Willow took over driving, and Buffy joined her for a while up front.

"Well, Buffy, looks like you guys are finally going to be home tonight."

"It’s weird, know what I mean? All these years I’ve lived in his house alone, never thinking it would ever be anybody there but myself."

"But you’re happy, right?"

"Of course. I am happy. William makes me…I can’t describe it exactly, but there’s something about him that makes me feel peaceful, safe. Which, hey, considering the mind-numbing fear I feel some of the time because of him, that’s saying a lot," she laughed, well aware of the absurdity of her statement.

"Well, of course you’re afraid, too. Who wouldn’t be, given the circumstances? The fact that he makes you feel all those other things, too, though…Well, that’s just wonderful. Really it is."

"Yeah," she said, smiling, "kinda is."

"William seems truly happy, too."

"I think he is, despite not remembering. Or, hey, maybe because of it. There’s times he seems…almost joyous, happy in a childlike way; carefree, free," she said, smiling as she remembered certain times over the past few weeks where his awe, his joy was almost breathtaking in it’s purity to watch, infectious in it’s gleefulness.

"I’ve noticed, too. We all have. He’s quite charming that way, you know? The joy in the little things he radiates. Guess it is rather like watching a child discover the world."

Buffy sobered, "He’s so innocent of…well, of everything."

"Not everything," Willow said, looking at Buffy and winking.

"No, not everything," she said, blushing.

"That’s a good thing. He doesn’t just radiate joy because of his innocence; he radiates it when you’re anywhere around him. When he looks at you…he’s come a long way since we got him out of that hospital, and that’s all because of you.

"Buffy shook her head, "Not just me. I couldn’t have done it without you guys."

"Yes, you could have. You would have. I know you, Buffy. If I hadn’t come, if Dawn hadn’t come, if there had been no Bernie, no Dr. Turner, no helpful nurses, no Leroy…any of us, I have no doubt that you still would have found a way to him and gotten him out of there. We’re talking about destiny here, Buffy. Yours and Spike’s, yours and William’s. Why else would you have seen that article when you did? Why would everything have worked out as it did? That’s why it’s brought you both to this point."

"Well, I’m not a big believer in all that destiny stuff, though considering I was The Slayer, I suppose I should be. I just like to think of people having free will, more than things being inevitable."

"Free will doesn’t cancel out destiny, you still always have choices."

"What I’m trying to say is that, whether or not I could have done it alone, I’m just so glad that you guys were there to help me," she smiled at Willow, "I didn’t realize how much I missed you guys."

"I missed you, too, Buffy. We all did. I’m glad you called, glad we all got to take this trip together. Oh, and have you seen Xander and William, lately? I think they actually like each other!"

"Yeah," Buffy giggled, "who would’ve thought…?"

They rode along in silence for a while.

"I just hope that when William finally finds out, and I know that it’s only a matter of time that I’ll either have to tell him, or that he’ll remember, that it won’t destroy him. That he won’t be so hurt from it…I don’t want to see him hurt; don’t want to be the one who hurts him."

"I know."

Buffy shook her head, "I feel…selfish, Willow. It’s not just that I don’t want him hurt, it’s…"

"You’re afraid of how he’ll react to you, when he finds out?"

Buffy nodded, "Yeah…I think he’ll…no, I know he’ll hate me."

"No, Buffy. He won’t hate you."

"Yes, Willow. He will," she said softly, "but I made a promise, a vow, after we found out that he was alive, before I even went to look for him, that no matter what, I would be there to help him, and that’s what I’ll continue to do. Even when…even if he winds up hating me."

"Buffy," Willow shook her head sadly, "I think you underestimate his love for you, I think…"

"I don’t…I haven’t for a long time. Not Spike’s and not even William’s. I just don’t think it will be enough."

"Buffy, you need to trust in him, you really do. He’s a good man and he’s crazy about you. I think he’ll forgive you anything, not that I think that there’s anything to forgive, if that’s what you’re worried about. I think it’s yourself you can’t forgive, can’t trust."

Willow didn’t know the half of it; there was plenty to forgive. Plenty. And there’d be a whole lot more before it was all said and done. Buffy looked over at Willow, "You might be right. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see, huh?"

Buffy got up, "Well, think I’ll go check up on him." She paused behind Willow’s seat and gave her a pat. "Thanks for the kind words. I’ll think about what you said."

"Damnit!" Willow said to herself after Buffy had left, "damnit!"

"Hey," Buffy said, sitting down on the couch next to William. Him and Xander appeared to be watching a Cubs game on the television set. It even appeared to be exciting from the way Xander was making noises and talking to the set. She’d heard him explaining some finer point of the game as she walked back.

William turned toward her, his eyes and his smile giving her his full attention. He extended a hand to her and pulled her down to sit next to him. She snuggled in at his side, as he leaned over and kissed her hair, "Missed you," he whispered, so only she could hear.

She turned toward him, and pulled his face towards hers and kissed him.

"Sheesh, William!" Xander exclaimed, "how am I going to teach you about baseball if you can’t keep your hands and eyes off of Buffy for more than 2 seconds?"

"Dunno," William said, grinning, "maybe through email?"

"Come on, Xander, since when did you become so into sports? Don’t seem to remember you hardly ever watching any games," Buffy said.

"That’s because I was always surrounded by you girls. Everytime I tried to turn one on, you girls would turn it off," he said, "oh, Xander, why do you want to watch dumb old baseball?" he said in a high falsetto voice.

Buffy laughed, "Did not. Besides, if Angela was here, you probably wouldn’t even care."

"Buffy," Xander said, as if trying to explain something to a child, "I’m trying to be a bit of a jock for William here, do you mind?"

She laughed, "No, I don’t mind, Xander."

"Good," he said, and went back to explaining the game. William, however, was busy rubbing her back, finding the contours of it, much more interesting than the baseball diamond.

"Where’s Dawn?" she whispered.

He motioned to the bedroom, "Taking a nap I think."

"The game probably made her tired," she said, winking.

4:30pm

The game had finished, just as Willow pulled over to get some gas. They were at Chiriaco Summit, where one of the many aqueducts diverted the Colorado River to the California desert and to millions and millions of Southern California residents.

Xander got back in the driver’s seat and William decided to ride up front with him for a while.

"So, William, are you excited about going home?"

"I’m excited about seeing home, since I don’t have any memory of it."

"I never knew, never would have even guessed you owned a house," Xander said.

"Well, guess that makes two of us," William replied.

Xander shook his head, afraid to say anything else.

They talked for a while about sports and cars, and what William might do once he got back.

"I think your idea of my going to school is a good one. Learn something new. Well, it’s all new to me, I guess," he said, sort of laughing.

"What about you, Xander? What did you study in college?"

"Um, I didn’t. Wasn’t really college material; took some trade classes in building and construction. Was good at it, too, until I lost my eye. Still, I’m good at blueprints and design; that’s what I’m doing now. Lucky, I can make a living at it, still."

"Did you go?"

"I think so, I mean, if my memories aren’t all false. Went to Oxford."

"Oxford, huh?"

William nodded.

"What did you take?"

"Latin, Greek, ancient history, English, the Classics. Not much use, is it?" he laughed softly, self-deprecatingly.

"What did you do with it? Or what were you going to do with that stuff?"

"Teach, I guess. Never got the chance. At least don’t remember teaching. I remember working as some clerk in a stuffy old office. Hated it. Just lived for having time off, so I could write…wasn’t much good at that either, I’m afraid."

"What did you write? Stories or something?"

William didn’t say anything.

"Well?"

William sighed, "Poetry mostly. God awful stuff, too, if I recall," he shook his head at the painful memories, "got made fun of for it, by the blokes in my social circle, and even moreso, by the ladies. Called me William the Bloody."

"They called you what?" Xander asked, not sure he’d heard correctly.

"Called me William the Bloody, because of my bloody awful poetry."

Xander couldn’t help himself; he cracked up with laughter. So that was where the name, ‘William the Bloody,’ came from! Not from Spike having terrorized Europe as the evil vampire, but by having been such a bad poet as a man!

William cringed as he heard the laughter, hurt, wishing he hadn’t said anything.

"Hey, William, don’t get your dander up, I was made fun of plenty in school myself."

"You were?" William asked, looking at him, astounded, "I would never have guessed. I mean, you seem perfectly normal to me, look normal, sound normal. I would’ve thought you’d have had all the ladies falling all over themselves for you."

Xander really laughed then, "Not even close. I could barely get a date, and that was only after I’d groveled, begged, cajoled, and pleaded. I was pretty much a dateless nerd throughout high school. Even past it."

"What did they make fun of you for?"

"The better question would be, what didn’t they make fun of me for? Looks, grades, non-athletic abilities, you name it, they found a way to twist the knife. "

"Well, it looks like you turned out alright, despite that," William said, "you have a lovely wife and two lovely kids, a good job, friends…"

"Yeah, you’re right about that. Things definitely turned out better than I thought they would ever turn out after…well, back then. Thanks for saying that," Xander said. Who would’ve thought that he and Spike shared that sort of thing in common?

A few minutes later, Xander said, "You’re okay, too, William. Looks as though things are turning out okay for you, too."

"Thank you, Xander. I…I hope so."

"They will, just give it some time. You’re already ahead of the game, you’ve got Buffy in your corner, and she’s a force to be reckoned with, if you haven’t already figured that out."

He nodded, "Yeah, I figured that out," he agreed. He was quiet for a few minutes, then blurted out, "I want to marry her!"

"What?"

"Marry her. I want to marry Elizabeth!"

"I see. That’s…does she know?"

William nodded, "I think I made an error in mentioning it to her too soon, right after…well, too soon after we’d been back together."

"She freak out?"

"If by freak out, do you mean did it send her running? Then yes, it did."

Xander thought about this for a while, not believing he was going to offer the following advice, "I think that you should just give her some time. Give yourselves some time to get situated, know what I mean? Once you’re living together for a while, maybe after you’ve gotten back on your feet, gone to school, gotten a job or whatever…try again. Bet she’ll say yes, then."

William felt hopeful; "You think so?"

"I think so. She loves you, so why not?"

"Why not? That’s the question, isn’t it? Elizabeth said something about not wanting to rush things, about me getting my memory back first. I think that, for some reason, she thinks that once it comes back, that I wouldn’t want to marry her," he shook his head in dismay, "I’d still love her, I know I would, so why would she think that?"

Xander shrugged.

William was quiet for a moment. He knew that Xander, all of them really, had been careful not to talk about his past. Knew that instead of filling him in with lots of details, they seemed to be hiding them, instead.

"Xander, without being specific, which I know you won’t be," he said, sneaking a sideways glance, "but if you can, answer me this, is there some reason that I wouldn’t want to marry Elizabeth, if tomorrow, I remembered everything?"

"I don’t think so. You loved her before and you love her now. If you, as you say, got all your memories back tomorrow, I still think you’d want to marry her."

"And what about her? If I remember everything tomorrow, is there a reason that she wouldn’t…wouldn’t want…me? Um, to marry me?"

"You’re asking me, Xander Harris, to examine the mind of a woman. Closely. Buffy’s mind, at that. I don’t even examine Angela’s mind that closely. Listen to me, William, if you want to preserve your own sanity, I wouldn’t even try to understand a woman’s mind. They’re too complex, especially hers. Short answer, I don’t see why she wouldn’t marry you one way or the other, if she loves you. I mean, she does love you, so it’s not that."

"Dawn said she was scared, so did Willow."

"Well, there you go, then. They’re like a beehive."

William just looked at him.

"The way women understand each other, relate to each other, like bees in a hive, hive mentality," he said, shaking his head, for the tenth time in as many minutes.

"So, I shouldn’t scare her, then?"

"Sounds reasonable to me, but what do I know? Guy, here. Okay, I’ll bite. What’s she supposed to be scared of?"

"I guess losing, loss, love," he said, shrugging, "same thing we’re all scared of, I would think."

"Well, just keep reassuring her that you’re not going anywhere, then. All the guys she’s ever known, starting with her dad, all left, so can’t really blame her there."

"I guess that includes me, as well."

"Huh?"

"I left her. For 5 years, didn’t I?"

"William, without saying anything specific, as you put it, believe me, it’s not the same. You didn’t get up and walk out of her life."

"Sounds like that’s just what I did. Well, I guess not, because I don’t remember doing it. Still…"

"You know what you and Buffy have in common?" Xander asked.

"What?"

"A whole shit-load of unwarranted guilt about everything! Love her, stay with her, hopefully she’ll marry your sorry ass someday, making you the luckiest and happiest son-of-a-bitch in the world, make babies, grow old together and die at a nice ripe old age, okay? Now, would you stop yammering on William and let me drive, for cripes sakes?" Xander asked, giving him a friendly punch in the arm.

William looked shocked for a minute, then laughed; "I really am a pathetic ponce, aren’t I?"

"You said it, buddy, not me," Xander said, smiling as he went back to driving.

Dawn and Willow were talking when William came back from up front.

"Where’s Elizabeth?" he asked.

"Went back to the bedroom a few minutes ago," Dawn answered.

She watched him go back to the bedroom. She rolled her eyes at Willow; "They really can’t keep away from each other."

"Nope, doesn’t seem like it," she said, winking at Dawn.

William knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Hi."

"Hi. Miss me again?" she asked coming up to him and putting her arms around him.

"You know it," he responded, pulling her towards him, and kissing her, "besides that, I was wondering what you were doing."

"Packing up our stuff," she said, pointing to the dresser and closet.

"Guess we’d best do that, huh?"

"What time is it?"

"Think it’s around 5:00pm. Xander said we were only about 75 miles from Santa Ana, is it?"

"Yeah, that’s a bit south of Los Angeles. My car’s parked at the Orange County Airport."

"Oh," William replied. "Xander said that you could’ve taken a flight from San Diego, that it would’ve been closer."

"He’s right, it would’ve been. I was originally booked to fly out from there, but I changed it."

"Why?"

"Do you remember the first time I saw you again, at the hospital?"

He kissed her gently on the lips, "Never forget that, Elizabeth."

"Well, Dr. Turner had told me that visiting hours on your ward were only until 5:00pm. The flight I originally booked, wouldn’t have gotten me into Chicago in enough time to see you that day, so I cancelled it and took an earlier flight from the Orange County Airport," she said, nuzzling his neck, "I couldn’t stand to not see you for one more day."

He hugged her tightly to him. If she hadn’t come and spoken to him, if she’d waited until the next day, he might have never gotten out of there, she might have been too late. He shuddered at the thought.

She felt him shudder and knew what thoughts were going through his head; they were going through hers, too. Plus, what she knew about how Angel and his lackeys had been involved. If she hadn’t gotten that flight, everything could have played out so differently.

She hugged him extra hard, thinking about what Willow had said, "Guess it was fate that I took the earlier flight," she said.

He nodded, as his lips found hers, "You found me," he whispered.

"I found you," she whispered back, "and you found me, too."

"Let’s make a promise to always find each other," he said.

"No."

"No?"

"Let’s just make a promise not to lose each other again."

"Even better," William said, smiling at her, "never want to lose you again."

"Me, either," she said, as her hands went around his neck, her mouth once again finding his. She kissed him passionately, pulling him over to the bed.

He moaned, pulling back a little, surprised, "Didn’t think you’d want to do this right now."

"Why not?"

"Aren’t we getting rather close?"

"William, remind me to explain the greater Los Angeles traffic system to you sometime. Especially at rush hour, when people are getting out of work…I’ll be surprised if we get to the airport in less than 3 hours."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well, in that case…"

END CHAPTER 83

*The explanation for the gates that Spike has surrounding his house/property in Julian can be found in DAY, the prequel to this story. I explain it a bit further in the next chapters, if you don't want to go back and read that.

Actually, lots of stuff I refer to in this whole story, has to do with the first story, so I take that back, go catch up! Hey, it's shorter than this story, only 38 chapters.

-)

Buffy peeked out the window, careful to not be seen this time. She sighed at seeing all the cars and trucks barely moving.

"See, told you we were going to run into a big traffic snarl."

"Well, that was a good thing for us," William said, looking quite satisfied, his arms behind his head, as he looked up at her, smiling.

She closed the shade and plopped back down next to him, "Yeah," she said, kissing him, "good thing for us, but I think I should finish packing now."

"Okay," William said, and sat up, reaching for his pants.

Buffy finished taking all their clothes out of the drawers and closet and put them onto the bed. William brought her backpack and daypack to her. He only had a daypack and plastic bags in which to pack his things.

"Got a lot of stuff in the past few weeks," he said.

"Well, you didn't have anything, so you needed a lot of stuff."

He smiled at the memories of Fuller's Resort, when he came across the swim trunks and water-shoes in the bottom of one of the bags. He had better memories in the past 3 weeks than he'd ever had before.

"I think I'm going to miss this little room, too. And the RV," he said.

"Me, too. Like a home away from home."

"Gonna miss them, too. Your friends."

"They're your friends too."

He nodded, "Yeah, sort of feels like it," he said, smiling a little sadly, "but I get the impression they weren’t so much before; my friends, that is."

Buffy looked up at him from her packing, and walked over to him, "They're both of our friends, now," she said, putting her hand on his cheek. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Arrrhhh!" Xander muttered, "Damned traffic."

It was 6:30pm and they’d only gone 30 miles in the past hour. Only 10 miles in the past 25 minutes.

"Next time the traffic stops, I’ll drive for a while," Dawn said, "I’m familiar with this crap and I don’t mind. You should get out of the driver’s seat for a while."

"Okay, Dawnster, talked me into it."

They didn’t have to wait too long for the traffic to come to a complete stop. Xander stood up and stretched, "Sheesh my ass is sore," he said.

"Thanks for that visual, Xander," Dawn said, taking the seat.

Another hour passed and barely another 20 miles.

"See what the crazy commuters of Southern California put up with on a daily basis, William, "Xander asked.

"Why don’t the people use trains?"

Xander made a guffawing noise, "Good question, except there are no trains. Well, there are trains in Los Angeles, but if you’re going to LA from somewhere else, or out of LA, or from anywhere other than LA to another non-LA place, nope, no trains. People just love their cars here."

"They love ‘em, because they’ve never been given any other choice," Willow said.

Xander whispered something in William’s ear. Buffy watched as his eyes got bit, then let out a snort.

"What are you telling him, Xander?"

"Nevermind. Guy talk."

Buffy and Willow rolled their eyes.

Finally, they were on the home stretch to the airport. Buffy took William aside and told him of how low the planes would be flying and that more than likely, he’d get a good look at the belly of some of them as they either were making their approach to land, or to take off.

William had been staring mostly silently as they drove through some of the most congested areas in the Los Angeles area.

Buffy watched him taking it in. "It’s not like this, where we live. We’re about an hour from San Diego, but San Diego isn’t nearly this crazy. And we’re in the mountains, outside of a very, very small town. It’s peaceful there."

"Glad about that, don’t know if I’d feel comfortable in the middle of all this…"

"I know. I don’t either, really."

"Before…when we lived in Sunnydale, what size town was it?"

"Not too large," she said, "maybe 20,000 – 25,000 people."

She looked at the lines of worry on his face.

"What’s the matter?" she asked.

"The town was totally destroyed?" he asked.

She nodded.

He just shook his head. There must have been thousands and thousands killed if an earthquake destroyed all of it.

"Hey, we made it to the 405!" Dawn said.

"Yeah!" Willow said.

"What’s the 405?" William asked.

"One of the main highways around here, and the one that will lead into the airport."

"Oh, that’s good, then, right?"

"Right."

"There it is," Dawn said, "Exit to the John Wayne Airport."

"John Wayne?" asked William

"Yeah, a famous actor who starred in lots of westerns, they named the airport after him."

He looked blankly at her.

"Cowboys and Indians."

"Oh, OH!" he said, remembering some of the old TV shows he’d seen in Michigan.

Suddenly he put his hands up to his ears.

"That would be the planes we were telling you about," Xander said.

William looked out the window, just in time to see a Southwestern Airlines 707 coming in for a landing. His eyes grew large.

Buffy put her arm around him and patted him on the back, comfortingly.

"What do you think?" she asked him.

He looked at her, awe in his eyes, "That’s just amazing!"

She smiled, "Yeah, I feel that way everytime I see one up close, too."

"How long did you say it took you to fly to Chicago?" he asked.

"About 4 hours."

He just shook his head, his mind boggled from the idea that a road trip of such mileage, that could take this long, even with stops and such, could be done in 4-hours time.

"So, wish you’d flown instead, William?" Xander asked.

William shook his head; "Not sure I want to be in anything that fast. Besides, never would’ve gotten to see all the great things I got to see, never would’ve gotten to know you lot. So,no. Glad I went on the road trip," he said, grinning.

"Me, too, buddy. Me, too," Xander said, slapping him on the leg. "Got a chance to see all these things, too. Mostly I’ve just flown from one side of the country to the other, so it was great seeing all the middle parts."

They all nodded.

"Buffy, is this where your car is?" Dawn asked, pointing to a big sign that said, ‘Parking.’

"That’s it!" Buffy said.

"Let me out, Dawn. I’ll ask the guy at the booth if you guys can drive into the lot, so William and I can get our things into the car, or if I have to get the car first, then meet you guys somewhere."

Buffy quickly used her fingers to comb back her hair, then sauntered over to the man in the booth.

William watched, a pang of jealousy going through him, as he saw the man put back his head and laugh, while appreciatively looking Elizabeth up and down.

Buffy was back in a few minutes.

"He’s going to let you guys pull right up to my car. He said, as long as you were out within 15 minutes, he wouldn’t charge us to unload. I already paid him, too, so at least he knows it’s legit, considering that I’ve been parked here one day shy of 4 weeks."

"God, Buffy, what did that cost you?" Dawn asked.

"You don’t even want to know!"

They pulled into the parking lot and Buffy directed them to her car.

"There it is," she said, pointing to the ’98 Red Subaru that her father had given her 5 years ago.

It was time for good-byes.

Xander and William unloaded the bags, daypacks, backpacks, presents for Clem, and the boxes containing the pots they’d bought for themselves from Mesa Verde, carrying them out to the car, and stashing most of them in the trunk, the rest in the back seat.

Xander walked over to William, and handed him a small card. It was his business card with his work email, as well as his home email.

"Stay in touch William. Alex expects to hear from you, too."

"I will, Xander. And thank you for…for all of this, for driving us all this way…for showing me about cars and baseball…for being such a good friend to Elizabeth and the rest of them…and for your advice."

Xander looked at this strange little man who’d come so far, had been such a thorn in his side for so many years, a thing to be scorned and ridiculed, feared and loathed, and if he’d had his way on many an occasion, staked. Yet, in the end, he’d come through, not only saving him, before Caleb could finish the job, but also saving the world for them all. He felt a lump in his throat. He grabbed William and gave him a few ‘manly,’ slaps on the back before releasing him, "Take care, William," he said turning away and going over to Buffy.

"Xander," she said, "I don’t know what I would’ve done.

"You would’ve done fine," he said, "Dawn drives, Willow drives…"

"I mean throughout the years, Xander. You were always there, always helping," she wiped her eyes, "and now you’re all grown up with a beautiful family…I don’t think I could’ve wished anything better for you."

"Me neither, Buffy. Me neither. Speaking of someone who was always there," he said, motioning to William, "You know how I felt in the past, but now…well, he seems like a good man. Wants nothing more than to make it work with you."

"I know."

They hugged and held on for a long time.

Willow came up to Buffy, "You made it, Buffy!"

"We made, it Willow. All of us."

Willow nodded.

"Don’t your parents live around here somewhere? Are you going to stop by to see them?"

"Yeah, they’re not too far from where your dad lives. But, they’re coming to London for Christmas Vacation, or as they call it, "Hanukkah Vacation," she said, rolling her eyes. "I’d sort of like to visit them, but if I do, then they’re going to want me to stay a few days and be hurt if I don’t, so I think I’m just going to pretend I wasn’t even here, rather than make Xander stop for that."

"Don’t suppose he’s going to stop and see his family."

"No, I don’t think he’s even talked to them in over 5 years. Probably best he doesn’t. They only made him feel bad, and knowing them, despite what he’s accomplished, they’d find a way to make him feel like he was still stuck in their basement somehow. It’s a mind thing."

Buffy nodded.

"I’m so glad that you and William are together. Don’t worry so much, whatever comes up, I’m sure you guys will work through it. Oh, and by the way, I’ll make some papers up for him and mail them to you right away. Let me know if he wants me to help with a resume. I heard Xander talking about William’s Oxford background. I’m sure I could doctor up a resume, to make it more…oh, I don’t know, this century!"

Buffy laughed, and hugged Willow, "Thank you. For everything. Tell Kennedy, ‘hello,’ and that I send her my best."

"I’ll do that."

Willow and William faced each other.

"William," she said, "this is good-bye."

"I know. I wish I had more time to talk to you about England and all the places I think I remember."

She nodded, "Well, you can always email me. About anything. I check my email every single day, so if you do, I’ll get back with you right away."

"Thank you, Willow. For everything."

"You’re quite welcome, William. It was very nice seeing you again. You take care of Elizabeth, and yourself, hear?"

"I will," he answered sincerely, then hugged her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, before turning to Dawn.

Dawn looked at him, then threw herself into his arms, teary eyed.

"What’s this, then?" he asked, surprised.

"You, you big, dumb…man, you!" she said, sniffling, "by the way, still going to get you back for that Dawn poem," she whispered.

He chuckled, "That’s because you were being a brat."

"Was not," she said, smiling, though.

"Was, too."

"William," she said, seriously, as she pulled away from him, "you were my best friend at a certain point in my life. You were there when everybody was gone, even when Buffy had di…dyed her hair orange and wouldn’t talk to anyone," she quickly made the save. "And now you’re back and with Buffy. I just wanted to tell you that you’re like a brother to me. Or a brother-in-law. You’re my friend, Spike! Whether or not you go by Spike or William, you’ll always be my friend and I’m so glad you’re back."

William was overwhelmed by Dawn’s show of emotion.

"Dawn, I…I love you, too," he said realizing, not only hadn’t he said that to anyone other than Elizabeth, for different reasons, of course, but that he meant it. He did have a protective, warm, and brotherly familial feeling towards her.

Dawn smiled through her tears, "You know you can call me anytime, William, right? If you want to talk, about anything, or about Buffy when she’s being an unreasonable bi…unreasonable," she said winking.

"Thank you Dawn. I hope you mean that, because of all of you, I can truly imagine myself calling you up to talk, as you say."

"Well, you’d better!"

"I will. Promise."

She hugged him hard one more time, then turned to Buffy.

Buffy had watched her and William’s exchange.

"So, what were you telling William?"

"Just that you’re the biggest bitch there ever was, and if he had any brains, he’d run, not walk for the nearest exit, and if he was free, I’d jump his bones in nothing flat."

Buffy stood there with her mouth opened, then laughed.

"Duh! What do you think I told him? That he’s my friend and that he’d better call, especially when he’s got some dirt to dish out about you."

"Well, that’s better, little sister, Buffy said, smiling fondly at her, "Dawn, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you!"

"Damn straight!" she said, and hugged Buffy hard.

"You take care of yourself and William."

"I will."

"You let him take care of you, too."

Buffy nodded, "I will, I promise. Now, you go home, call that Dr. John of yours and have some fun. But not too much!" she warned.

"Of course, not."

"Of course, not. And do well in school."

"Yes, mom."

Buffy smiled.

William held the door for Buffy as she got into the driver’s seat, then went over and got into the passenger seat.

"Bye guys!" Buffy said.

"Bye, yourself. Call me tomorrow," Dawn said.

"I will. Bye Willow, Bye Xander," she said, as she started the car and put it into drive.

"Bye Buffy, bye William," they called, waving.

Buffy looked through the rearview mirror, seeing them until the last moment, standing by the RV, before rounding the corner to the exit of the parking lot.

William reached over and gently wiped a tear off of her cheek.

She turned and looked at him and smiled, "You ready for this?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Then let’s go home, William."

END CHAPTER 84

The traffic was lighter now, as sunset approached. Buffy got off the 405 and took Hgyw. 5 along the coast.

"We’ll see the ocean soon," Buffy said, half an hour later, as they soon veered southwest on Hgwy. 5.

William’s arm rested lightly around the back of her seat. Other than that, they rode along in silence, each both afraid and excited to be finally on the last leg of their physical journey toward home.

"Really?" he asked, excitedly.

"Yeah, really," she said, "I can smell it already."

He sniffed, "Me, too. Is that it?" he asked as his nose detected the slight smell of saltiness and fish.

She nodded. There was nothing like being near the ocean.

As they neared it, Buffy gave William a quick history lesson of the Mission and the Swallows of San Juan Capistrano.

"…and every year on the exact same day, March 19^th, the swallows finish their 15,000 mile trip from Goya, Argentina."

"Amazing," William said, appreciatively, "have you ever been here to see it?"

"No, I never have, but tell you what, we’ll come see them next March, okay?" she asked, smiling as she enjoyed the fantasy of having him along to do the things that she never got to enjoy before, having him to share things with.

He nodded.

"Would you like to stop and watch the sunset?" she asked him.

He nodded enthusiastically.

Now that they were really back, there was nothing more than she wanted than to get up to the house, but she couldn’t deny him seeing the ocean for the first time. With her.

They walked out to the shore, arms around each other, and sat down on a blanket she’d grabbed from the trunk.

He sat in back of her, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed and leaning back against him.

He looked at the yellow orb, as it got lower and lower in the sky, turning slightly orange as it went down lower toward the horizon.

"Beautiful," he said.

"Beautiful," she echoed, as she played with his hands as they hugged her tight.

"I wasn’t talking about the sunset," he said, as he looked at her golden hair blowing back against his chest.

"Neither was I," she said, and turning herself, found his mouth and kissed it.

William kissed her back, all of the yearnings of his heart, his love, and his hopes in his kiss, in his passion for her.

Buffy sighed, contentedly and curled her legs up against his, turning sideways between his lap, to better let herself be held.

They sat this way until the sun had gone below the horizon and past.

"Guess we should be going. It’s still a bit of a drive."

"Of course," he said, pulling her up to her feet, then gathering the blanket for her.

"We’ll come back some evening. Heck, lots of evenings! Days, too," she said, happily dreaming of all the things they might do together.

"Good," he said, leaning in real close to her, he whispered in her ear, "like to make love to you underneath the stars someday."

She shivered against him, his words sparking a physical reaction from her.

"Stop that," she said, softly.

"Never," he said, grinning back.

It was dark now as they continued up the coast, until half an hour later, at Oceanside, she headed inland on Hgwy. 78. They cleared their ears as the elevation increased. Almost half an hour later, as they neared the exchange for San Marcos, she told him that was where she’d gone to school. It was also where she first had seen the picture of amulet, unearthed by the excavation going on in Sunnydale, but of course, she didn’t mention that.

"We’ll be there in about half an hour," she said, her voice quiet.

The dream of him alive and coming home was almost a reality. She swallowed back the lump in her throat, cleared it.

He reached over behind her head to caress it for a moment, then reached for her hand. He had no words, to describe the culmination of this experience, starting 3 weeks ago for him, when he first heard he had a ‘wife,’ from Dr. Turner.

Elizabeth, as it turned out, was so much more than that word ‘wife’ could have implied. He was filled with joy at having her to love; to love him. He didn’t think even if he got his memories back, it could be much better. In fact, something inside him deeply feared getting them back. It was as if he’d been given a clean slate, in which to write or rewrite his history, he doubted what he could remember would be much better. Still, sometimes when Elizabeth looked at him, he thought he detected a bit of sadness over something he couldn’t quite define, perhaps over the other man he’d been. He didn’t want to think of that right now.

They rode along in silence the last half-hour, finally she pulled off the Santa Ysabel exit, "Almost there," she said.

* "4.2," he whispered, as the numbers popped into his head.

"What?"

He shook his head, "Nothing, I don’t know."

In less than 10 minutes, she slowed the car and pulled off into the long road going up toward the house.

"It’s a bit bumpy," she told him, recalling the first time he’d brought her here:

She breathed a sigh of relief, when 2 miles later, she noticed that Clem had remembered to open the gates for her.

After passing through the spot, she stopped the car, "Watch this," she told him, pointing behind her on with the remote.

She pressed the button and he could see a wall of trees start to move toward each other.

"What the…?" he asked, almost frightened.

"It’s the gates, pretty cool, huh?"

"Moving trees?"

"You designed it, so it would look like just a row of trees, so that the road appeared to dead end, to keep…well, strangers out. It’s opened electronically now," she said, showing him the remote, "like a TV remote, see? You used to have to climb up this tree, jump down on the other side, then manually open and close it."

He shook his head, "Guess I was pretty clever, huh?" Though he couldn’t imagine why he would’ve gone to all the bother to keep others out.

She grinned, "Very clever."

Buffy put the car back into drive and drove for another ¾ of a mile, until she spotted it through the trees.

"That’s it," she said, pointing up ahead, "I had Clem turn the lights on for us."

His heart was beating fast and he gripped Buffy’s hand tightly, as she pulled up front of the log house, with the wrap around porch.

She looked over at him, staring at it, as if trying to see if he could remember. He turned to her, questioningly, and she nodded.

Gently, she took her hand from his, patting it first with her other one, "Ready?"

He nodded.

She got out of the car, and after a few seconds hesitation, he did the same.

Buffy came around the car and stood next to him, putting her arm in his. William turned to look at her, his blue eyes trying to fathom something she couldn’t discern. She nodded and reached up to touch his cheek.

"Would you like to go inside?"

William nodded, "Shouldn’t we get the stuff out of your trunk first?"

"It’ll wait a bit," she said, and taking his arm, they started up to the porch.

Buffy tried the handle, then nodded. It had been left unlocked by Clem.

She glanced over towards the woods and caught the glow of red eyes. Buffy gave a little thumbs-up sign and slight nod of her head towards them.

"Welcome home, William" she said softly, as she pushed open the heavy wooden door and they walked in.

William stood inside the door looking around. Buffy had kept the original Victorian furniture that Spike had gotten over the years from Edna. She’d added a few, modern, comfy pieces to the mix, but she could never get herself to actually part with anything of his. She hoped it gave him some comfort, a familiar look.

She was happy that Clem had started a fire. It mustn’t have been too long ago, she thought, as it was blazing away nicely.

"What do you think?" she said, looking at William.

"It’s nice," he said, still looking around.

"Want to come in? Look around? Sit down?"

He nodded, but didn’t move.

She took his hand and gently led him toward the center of the living room.

"This is the living room, as you can see," she said, nervously.

She opened the door to the left of the fireplace. "This is our bedroom," she said. She walked into the room and went over to the bedside table and turned on the lamp. The carton that had contained all the things he had sent to her from Sunnydale, and from which she had dug out the black jeans and T-shirt to bring to him in Chicago, was still on the bed. She nonchalantly closed it up, and carried it over to the closet, "and this is the closet," she said, opening the door and shoving the carton up onto the shelf.

He glanced around taking in all the clothes and shoes. For someone who had so much, she really hadn’t had hardly anything when she had hurried to him in Chicago. What he didn’t realize was that this was a fraction of what she used to own, and that in the following years, she had hardly made much effort to buy much for herself at all. A dozen T-shirts or so, half-dozen pair of shoes, one jacket, one sweater, 2 pair of jeans, and one pair of dress pants had pretty much carried her through the past 5 years. It was only when she started looking for a teaching position, that she had added a few, nicer pieces to her wardrobe.

"It’s sort of small, but I think we can fit in some of your shirts, and I’ll clear out a couple of dresser drawers for you, too," she said pointing to the dresser.

"The bathroom is there," she said, pointing to the door on the right wall, "it’s between both bedrooms."

She led him out of the room and toward the other side of the fireplace, "And this is the second bedroom. Not much to see here, just a bunch of my junk," she said, turning on the lamp, so he could have a quick look, "but if you want to use this room for anything, I can take my stuff and move it out."

"What would I need it for?" he asked.

"I don’t know. Maybe not right now, but maybe in the future, you’ll want it for something."

He thought that was an odd thing for her to say. He couldn’t imagine whatever he would want a spare room for. Did she mean for him to sleep in? No, it couldn’t be that, otherwise she wouldn’t have said the other room was their bedroom. It sort of had unsettled him, but he let it go.

Buffy had him by the hand again, and was leading him to yet another room, "This is the kitchen," she said, "and the laundry is over…oh my!" she stopping, smelling something delicious.

"I think Clem left us something to eat," she said, smiling as she lifted the lid on the pot that was simmering on low.

William came over to have a look, "Umm, what is it? Stew?"

She nodded, "Yeah, smells great, too!" she asked, realizing her stomach was now gurgling in anticipation.

"You hungry?"

He nodded.

She opened the refrigerator and was happy to see that Clem had brought her everything that she might possibly want and then some. She found a bottle of Merlot and took it out.

"Want to eat here at the table or in the living room, in front of the fireplace?"

"Wherever you want," William answered.

"If you can open this for me," she said, handing him the wine and a corkscrew,

"and get some bowls down from the cabinet," she said, pointing to the one right of the stove, "I’ll go and set up the coffee table, so we can eat out there, okay?"

"Sounds nice. Um, where are the glasses?"

"There," she said, pointing to another cabinet.

Buffy pulled the rug up closer to the couch threw some pillows down onto it. She then took the plants off of the small coffee table that was in front of the wall, to the left of the desk, brushed the dirt onto the floor, and carried it over to in front of the couch.

She went back into the kitchen to get something to clean it off with.

William had opened the door to the back porch and was standing there, looking out.

She came up behind him and put her arms around him.

"What’s that?" he asked.

"Barn. I use it mostly for storage, your old car, the DeSoto, is on the other side of it, too."

He didn’t say anything, just nodded, holding onto her arms, which were around him, "It’s pretty here. Can see the stars."

"That you can," she agreed. "Did you ladle out the stew?"

"Oh, sorry. I…sort of got distracted, but I took the bowls and glasses down, opened the wine."

"Want to eat now?"

He nodded, "Okay."

They took the bowls of stew and glasses of wine out to the living room. Sitting down next to each other on the pillows, backs against the couch, they ate their meal, facing the fireplace.

They were mostly quiet during their meal, almost a sense of shyness between them, now that they were finally here. Here. Home. The word, having been given so much meaning by both of them when it was like a carrot dangling somewhere out in front of them, and now, at last it had become a reality to which they would have to become accustomed, like everything else that had preceded it.

After dinner, they cleared the bowls, putting them into the sink for now. They moved the table back to where it had been, then went outside to get their things out of the trunk. She was surprised when she opened the door to find all of their stuff on the porch.

"What the…?" William said.

"Clem," Buffy said, smiling, "I think he just wanted to help out, without interfering tonight."

"Oh…"

"We’ll go see him tomorrow, okay? Or the next day," she said, giving him a look that reminded him of the only three things she’d said they would do the first day home.

"Yeah, maybe the day after tomorrow…" he grinned, grabbing some of their bags.

They put their day and back packs on the closet floor. William first took out his shaving kit, toothbrush, toothpaste, and other items like that, and found places for them in the bathroom.

Buffy left the big garbage bag full of their dirty laundry off to the side of the room. She’d get to that ‘stuff’ tomorrow. Or the next day.

They left the box of mixing bowls for Clem on one of the tables in the living room, and the pots they’d bought for themselves in Mesa Verde wound up on top of the dresser.

Standing there, with him in this bedroom, putting their things away gave Buffy a momentary wiggins. Well, maybe not wiggins, as much as a feeling of unreality.

As if sensing her mood, he looked over at her, "What is it, Elizabeth?"

"Nothing. I just…think I’ll put on my nightgown, okay?" she answered a bit irritated.

"Sure, I’ll go in the other…."

"William, you don’t have to, I mean…"

But he had already walked out, closing the door behind him.

Damn! She hadn’t meant to sound that way, it had just come out. Sometimes he was just too perceptive. It was disconcerting, but then again, Spike always had been. Spike. No, Buffy, it’s William here. It may have been Spike who first brought you here to Julian, who left you his house, but it’s William who you’ve brought back with you. William.

She went to the bathroom and changed into a clean nightgown she’d found in her dresser drawer. She brushed her hair and teeth, and washed her face. She looked in the mirror, wondering if the woman she saw now looked very different from the one who had left almost a month ago. She looked down and saw his shaving kit and his toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink, and couldn’t help but smile. She looked in the mirror again, "Guess, you’re the magic ingredient, William," she said to her reflection, which smiled back at her, eyes softened.

Buffy went to the closet and bent over to take William’s sweat pants he’d slept in at first, out of his bag.

She walked into the living room. He was just coming back in from the kitchen, the bottle of wine and the two glasses in his hands.

"Thought we might have a little more."

"Good. Oh, I put your sweats on the bed, if you want to get out of your clothes."

He arched an eyebrow at her, but made no other expression, "I can do that," he said, walking past her into the bedroom. She turned around and followed him in.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and started taking off his boots. She didn’t know what compelled her, but suddenly she was on her knees in front of him, unlacing them for him. When she had finished, she pulled them off, setting them next to the bed. She didn’t say anything, nor did he as he watched her doing this for him, but his heart melted at the sight. His sweet girl!

Buffy got up and handed him the sweat pants, kissing him on the cheek, before going into the living room, leaving him staring after her with his mouth open.

A few minutes later, he joined her, wearing the sweat pants and a different T-shirt from the one he’d had on.

She handed him a glass of wine, as he sat down next to her on the rug in front of the couch.

William took it from her, with a nod of thanks. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him.

Buffy turned to look at him, daring her eyes to be playing tricks on her, to deny to her that he was really here.

Not breaking eye contact, he bent over and kissed her softly at first. As the kiss deepened; she made a little noise in the back of her throat, which almost sounded like a cry. Still lip-locked, they took their wineglasses and set them aside. She started to crawl onto his lap, but he pulled them down to the floor instead, onto their sides.

Buffy kissed his eyes, his nose, his lips, his ears, his neck, as he did the same to her. She tugged at his T-shirt, sitting up for a minute, to pull it off of him, and also to take off her nightgown. She came back down into his arms, his shining, willing goddess.

He rolled on top of her, kissing her, grinding into her, the only thing separating them, being his sweatpants, which she was trying to pull off of him.

William kissed his way down, from her lips, her chin, down the side of her neck from her jaw-line to her collarbone. One hand fondled one breast, his thumb gently rubbing and circling her nipple, while his mouth suckled on her other one, pulling her nipple into his mouth, so his tongue could lavish its attention upon it.

Buffy moaned, her body needing him, but even more so, her jumbled up emotions needing the physical release that only his body could provide, as he loved her the way only he could.

William made his way down her soft belly, scooting backwards, until finally his head came to rest between her legs. She was moaning with anticipation, as he looked up from his spot into her eyes, which begged him, without words, for him to love her, make love to her.

He brought his hands up her thighs, as he gently pulled and tugged on her soft folds, opening her up to him. His tongue dipped into her, licking, sucking, teasing, softer, harder, the flat of it, the point of it, until he thought she was going to pull his hair out by their roots, as she moaned and squirmed strongly under his head.

"God, oh God, William!" she came, calling his name, her thighs tightening around him, pushing him off, as he tried to make it last a bit longer for her.

He’d practically been unaware that he’d been grinding down onto the carpet, as her pleasure had made him painfully wanting. Sure to be a hole in the carpet from this, he thought. He rose up on his arms, his hands tearing off the sweatpants, as he crawled up, was pulled up by Elizabeth, into her hot, sizzling self.

They stopped to look at each other at the moment he slid inside her. Her eyes looked up at him with the same love and awe he reflected back.

"Welcome home, William," she said, pulling him down towards her mouth.

"Thank you," he said, completing the circle.

Afterwards, they had fallen asleep in front of the fire, until much later; he had woken to feel her shivering up against him. He moved his hand down her backside, and finding it cold tried to find something to put over them, but there was nothing handy.

"Best get you into bed," he whispered, as he got into a kneeling position, with her still wrapped around him. He gently picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

She mumbled as he put her on top of the covers, "Should’ve done this first, eh?" he said, pulling the covers underneath her, before being able to pull them over her.

She opened her eyes sleepily and smiled at him, then helped by lifting her rear so he could easier manipulate the bedding.

"Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you," he said.

"How’d I get here?"

"Carried you."

"Love you," she said, and pulled him down alongside her, wrapping him up with her arms, and her heart, until they both fell asleep once again. In their bed, home at last.

END CHAPTER 85

CONT. CH. 86 - 90

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A/N hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! It's been a long trip and I was so happy to finally get them home. It occurs to me, that like the end of Buffy Season 5, if I were to end this right here, it would be a good ending. So, for those of you that are tired of the whole thing, you might just consider it the end, but for those of you that want to go on, it’s onto CHAPTER 86.