CHAPTER 56 – HAIRCUT

JUNE 20, 2008

FRIDAY

9:00am

That Friday morning, Buffy awoke to find William shivering and moaning against her.

"William," she said, gently shaking him.

"No, no, don't hurt the girl...save her, have to save her," he mumbled in his sleep.

"William!" she repeated when she didn't get a response. She shook him harder.

He opened his eyes, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What's the matter?" she said, stroking his face, as he tried to orient himself to his surroundings.

He just shook his head.

"Bad dream?"

"I...I don't remember," he said, not daring to close his eyes again.

"You can tell me, you know."

He shook his head.

She leaned over and kissed him, soft and long, until he started to respond to her lovely mouth.

He sighed, shivering one more time, as he pushed the nightmare aside.

She continued kissing him, until she was sure he was 'back.'

"You can tell me anything, you know. And it's alright if you don't want to. Just remember, William. You're here with me now and you're safe! And dreams aren't real, even if they're scary. You're real, I'm real," she said, taking his hand and holding it to her heart.

"I know," he said, his eyes looking at her with love and gratitude.

He knew he was here, with her. In a cabin, in Michigan, in 2008.

But still, he didn’t want to risk shocking or upsetting Elizabeth. The dream had started out innocently enough. He was at a party of a friend of his brother’s and there had been the usual, discussions, drinks, hor d’ourvres. Everything was normal. Then he had spotted Cecily across the room and he’d tried to make his way toward her. But just as he got there, she had turned into Elizabeth. As he started to tell her she looked beautiful, a man appeared behind her. The man looked somehow familiar and he looked at William as if he knew him. Then his face had changed into that of a monster. Looking at William still, he took hold of Elizabeth’s neck, and with a sickening sound, had twisted and broken it. She had looked at William as if to call for help, but then she had been dead. He could see the monster’s fangs, as all of a sudden he pulled the limp Elizabeth toward him and put his teeth to her neck and began to drink.

William had screamed at all the people at the party, but they only looked at the monster, then went back to what they were doing. Nobody would come to help her.

He still shivered, as he remembered the visage of the monster, the sound of her neck being broken, and worst of all, his helplessness.

She looked at him, questioningly.

"I'll be alright," he said, attempting a smile for her sake.

"I know you will! In fact, I insist that you be just fine," she said, smiling, as she once again, kissed him. He gave into it, into the sensations of their flesh, into the escape from his nightmare.

Everytime they kissed like this it was getting harder and harder not go to the next step. Her kisses, the feel of her, her touch, the way she made him feel so...wanted. He felt so much more like a man, than he had only days ago, he was still not sure he was man enough to risk more. Even though he felt she was there right with him, he was still afraid, to risk Elizabeth's possible displeasure.

Reluctantly, Buffy pulled away from him, eliciting a cute, lower lip pout, "Don't go yet!"

"We should get up."

He bit his tongue at what he was going to say was already up, instead, he groaned and put his hands under his head, willing himself and it, to calm back down.

She giggled. She felt she'd discovered new, sadistic and masochistic sides to her personality, because she was so loving him wanting her so much! Loving the wanting part, herself. Loving the fact that the sexual tension between them had been building for days and the only thing keeping them 'apart' was a thin layer of nylon pajamas on her end, and a pair of sweat pants on his. That and an incredible amount of willpower on her part, probably a bit of timidity on his. The old Spike and Buffy would have made short shrift of those in, well, the past.

They made plans after breakfast to go into town so William could get a haircut and then they would go into Niles, the next town over to do some shopping for food and other stuff at the local Super Wal-Mart.

William was quiet during breakfast. The thought of riding in a car, going out, getting a haircut, and shopping, no less filled him with dread.

He excused himself and went back into the bedroom, leaving Dawn, Willow, and Buffy alone.

"What’s up with William?" Dawn asked.

"I don’t know, guess I’d better find out," Buffy said, going into the cabin.

She knocked on the bedroom door, before entering.

William was sitting on the bed.

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing. I don’t know. I just…" he shook his head.

"Not happy about going out?"

"Hard to be happy, as you put it, when I don’t know anything about what out is all about, now do I?" he said, in an exasperated voice.

"Well, I guess you’re just going to have to find out, then, aren’t you?" Buffy answered him, just as exasperated.

He looked up at her, frowning, "I don’t even know what kind of haircut to tell the barber that I want. I don’t like cars. I hate shopping."

She looked at him for a few seconds, then went over to the bag that she’d gotten from the 10 North nurse that contained his things. She pulled out the copy of the picture of her and him underneath the canopy that he’d drawn and handed it to him.

"You could go for something like this. Not the white hair, I just mean the cut. Or you could leave it a little longer. You can always ask the barber for suggestions," she said, running her hand through his long, unkempt hair.

He looked at the picture. His eyes softened as he saw how lovely she looked, how happy. He wished it were real, that it had really been a picture of their wedding.

"As for the car," she continued, "I’m afraid you may just have to get used to it. We’ll have to leave here in less than 2 weeks, and it’s a really long drive to California. Unless you want to fly in an airplane, which I don’t think you do. In any case, if you get car sickness again, you can take something for that."

"And, as for shopping, I don’t think most guys like to shop, unless it’s for weapons, or hunting stuff," she said, remembering a time, she’d rather enjoyed looking at weapons, herself. However, it’s a necessary evil, and well, I like it and if you’re going to be with me, it’s just one of those things you’ll have to do occasionally. For me. Okay, Mr. Shirty?" she asked, teasingly, as she ruffled his hair.

He grabbed her then and pulled her down on his lap, "Mr. Shirty, is it now?"

Buffy giggled.

"Okay, for you I’ll get a bleedin’," he stopped, looking mortified. "Excuse me, Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I mean a darn haircut, ride in a car, and go shopping. Happy?"

She had been thrilled when he’d used the word, ‘bleedin.’

She kissed him on the top of the head, "Yes, happy. Thank you, William."

He smiled at her and just shook his head.

An hour later they were in front of the barbershop.

"Okay, this is where you get off," Buffy said.

He looked at her, frightened, "Alone?"

"Of course," she said, smiling, "you can do it. Just show him the picture, and tell him you want something like it. Then pay him. The sign says $10. Oh, and you should tip him a couple of dollars, too."

"Ten dollars? More than a weeks salary," he grumbled.

"Yeah, I know, just don’t mention it to him. It really is reasonable. Then again, men’s haircuts always are cheaper. Why I’ve paid $25 for a haircut, and if I want it dyed, not that I do, mind you, then it’s about $75."

"Good God!"

"Yeah, that’s what I said, too!"

"Just sit in the waiting area when you’re done. We’re going to walk over to the library next door. So, twenty, thirty minutes?"

He nodded, and taking a deep breath, walked into the barbershop.

"He’ll be okay, Buffy," Willow said, patting her on the back.

"Yeah, guess so." She’d wanted to go in with him, but Willow and Dawn had convinced her to let him do it on his own. That and she’d remembered Dr. Turner’s words about letting him be independent. "Guess it’s innocuous enough, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, it is, Buffy. It’s a good first step for him," Willow said.

They walked next door to the library and spent the next half-hour checking out the books that were for sale in the back corner.

They made their purchases, totaling the huge sum of $2.35 for 7 magazines, 9 paperbacks, and 3 older hardback copies of poetry, a novel about the Roman Empire, and a love story.

"I can hardly wait to see William’s haircut," Dawn said, looking at Buffy with a big grin, as they walked over to the barbershop.

"You ready?" Dawn asked.

Buffy nodded, as she opened the door to the barbershop. Her heart started pounding when she looked in the waiting room and didn’t see him.

"Where is he?" she yelled.

The barber stopped mid cut above his customer’s head. "Who?"

"William. The man whose hair you just cut!"

He motioned to the door marked bathroom.

"Oh, sorry," she said, red-faced.

The barber just shook his head and went back to his business.

Just then the door to the bathroom opened and William walked out.

Her heart caught in her throat as they made eye contact.

Her grin started out small, then widened into an all encompassing huge smile. William had been transformed into Spike! At least his hair had. Less the white, of course.

He smiled back shyly at her, as he ran his hand over his now smoothed down, brushed back hair. "You like it?"

"You look great, William," she said, admiringly, "what do you think?"

He walked up to her, and whispered in her ear, in a way that thrilled her, "I like how it’s making you look at me," he said, rather suggestively, "so yeah, I like it, too."

She smiled and took his hand, opening the door to the shop.

"Bye now," the barber said.

"Good-bye, thank you for the fine haircut, Mr. Duffy," William said.

The barber waved him off.

Dawn and Willow were standing on the sidewalk talking when Buffy and William approached.

Dawn turned around and saw him first, "Oh my God!" she squealed.

Willow shook her head, amazed.

"So, um, Dawn, do I look, ‘hotter,’ as you so succinctly put it yesterday?"

"Oh, yes, William. Definitely, hotter," she replied, grinning.

He grinned back.

"Well, good then," he said, looking at them all staring at him. "I say, isn’t it about time you ladies dragged me shopping? Or are you going to stand here staring at my new haircut all day?"

They all giggled.

"I don’t know if we should take you shopping now," Dawn teased, "you may be too hot for the shopping masses."

"Yes, William. You may cause the salesclerks and other customers to fall away in a dead swoon," Willow added.

"Well, that would have the benefit of having the store to ourselves," Buffy added.

William just shook his head. They could be so silly sometimes. Although, he secretly was enjoying the attention, "If you’re all quite done, I’d like to get this over with," he said, then added, with a slightly Spike-like smirk, "I’d like to try this new look out on the beach sometime today. See if the bikini set thinks I’m ‘hotter,’ too."

Buffy just looked at him and cracked up. As they got in the backseat together, she leaned over and whispered to him, "We’ll see about that. I’m not sharing!"

He smiled and took her hand, "Good, then. I’m all yours."

The new look seemed to give William a sense of confidence as they drove over to Niles, although a couple of times, he the motion of the car upset his stomach. However, as soon as he saw the huge parking lot, the huge store, he stiffened a bit.

"You okay?" Buffy asked.

"Sure," he replied.

"Remember, just a huge store. No biggy, okay?"

He nodded.

The inside was nothing that he had ever experienced before. He had never seen so much stuff, literally from soup to nuts, before in his life.

Paper goods, drug store items, toys, outdoor, lighting, paints, clothing, hardware, automobile, groceries, and everything else underneath the sun.

William held tightly onto Elizabeth’s hand as they went down the aisles, following Willow and Dawn.

"Aren’t there any small stores anymore?"

"Oh, sure, there’s plenty. In fact, where we live, there isn’t even a Wal-Mart. Lots of little stores that just have one thing, like stationary, paint, lumber, a pharmacy, grocery store."

"But why have these stores?"

"I don’t know who started the whole idea of the department store, but whomever did, just figured it would be a good idea for people to just come to one place for all their shopping, instead of lots of places. Oh, and they could sell things cheaper, because they’d buy so much of it from the manufacturers."

"So, what happens to the little stores, then?"

"Um…I guess lots of them went out of business. It’s sort of sad, because little stores do have unique, individual personalities."

"And Wal-Mart? There’s lots of them?"

"Yeah, hundreds. Or maybe thousands. Wal-Marts, K-Marts, and a lot of others like them. All over the country. Just like McDonald’s and Burger Kings."

"Oh, what you call the fast-food joints?"

"Exactly."

"London had some of the first department stores, but they weren’t this huge. And they didn’t sell groceries. Usually, just lots of clothing, shoes, jewelry."

"Ummm," Buffy said, remembering Marshall Field’s, among others in Chicago.

"It’s quite…overwhelming, you know?"

"Yeah, it’s not only you, William. Sometimes I feel like that too, when I’m at one of these mammoth places."

"Another thing you and I have in common, then, eh?"

Buffy stopped and stared at him, mouth open.

"What’s wrong?" William asked, as he tilted his head, looking at her quizzically.

"Nothing. It just…reminded me of something you said to me a long time ago. Almost word for word."

"Oh," he said, then thought about it, "why, do I sound different than I used to?"

"You do. But then again, sometimes not so much," she said smiling, realizing that what she’d thought were just Spike’s speech patterns, could actually have been some of William’s as well. Spike had just kept some of them, adding a ‘pet,’ or a ‘luv,’ or a ‘bloody this,’ and bleedin,’ that to the mix.

In any case, she’d never heard anybody speak quite like either Spike or William. Two sides, same coin. She was coming to this realization more and more with each day that passed. It was just that William hadn’t had much experience, women or otherwise, before he was turned.

"Shoes, anyone?" Dawn suggested.

"Of course," Buffy said, "I’d never say no to shoes."

William looked at her funny.

"What?" she asked him.

"Nothing, nothing," he assured her. Why the subject of shoes, in particular, her liking shoes seemed familiar to him, he didn’t know.

After they’d had their fun in shoes, including Buffy, making William buy a pair of sandals, much to his dismay, they got their groceries, a few other things, and then went to the pharmacy area.

"Um, I need to get something," Buffy said, going off to another aisle, as she gave Dawn and Willow a particular look. "Be right back."

"William, let’s go look at razors," Willow said, distracting him from following Buffy.

Buffy got what she wanted and was about to pay for it at the pharmacy, when all of a sudden she saw a row full of condoms. She stopped. Oh brother, she thought, should I even…? Okay. Maybe. She looked around to make sure nobody was watching, then clandestinely picked up a package and started reading. Large, check. Lubricated, probably don’t need that, but okay. Ribbed. Ribbed? Huh? She’d never in her life been in contact with one of these things before. Angel, didn’t think about it, same with Parker. When she’d been with Riley, she’d been on the pill. And with Spike? Didn’t really need those things.

She looked around again, and finally found a box that seemed ‘normal,’ if that’s what you could call it. Extra large? Large? She made her choice. Lubricated. K-Y Jelly, too. What the heck.

She went up to the pharmacy and tried to look disinterested as the pharmacist rang up her purchases.

She started walking away, then noticed the bag was see-through. Crap! She walked back over to the pharmacy.

"Um, excuse me."

"Yes?"

"Do you have any other bags?"

He took it from her and put it into another, darker bag.

"Thanks."

"No problem, have a nice day," he said.

Buffy hurried away. "Well, that was a ten on the embarrassment scale," she mumbled to herself, "have a nice day, I’ll show him… oh. Hi. William," she said, as she came around the corner, almost running into him.

"You finished, Buffy?" asked Willow.

"Yeah, let’s get out of here.

END CHAPTER 56

Later on that afternoon, after William had made his ‘hotter’ preview on the beach and had retired for a nap, Buffy had an idea. Once again their conversations had drifted to talking about California, which he seemed reluctant about. She got out her cell phone and made a call.

"Howdy-doody," a cheerful voice answered.

"Hey Clem!"

"Buffy? Girl? Is that you? Where are you?"

"Hi Clem, yeah, it’s me. I’m in…Mi…the Midwest."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Listen, I need you to do a favor for me."

"Sure, anything."

"Do you have a digital camera?"

"No, I sure don’t."

"Well, I do. Listen, go into the house, it’s on my desk, next to my computer. I want you to take some pictures of the house, both inside and out, and of the trail. Then I want you to download them to my computer. It’s easy, just click on the camera logo, after you connect the camera. I think the cable is connected now, so you’ll know how to do it. Then, go to Yahoo and click on Photos. You can use my account," she said, and gave him her password, "Click upload photos, then do it. Just label the folder, as house, not Julian, okay?"

"Sure, Buffy. But can I ask what this is about?"

"Um, not yet. But I do have a surprise for you."

"You do?" he asked, "I love surprises!"

"I know you do."

"When?"

"As soon as you can."

"No, silly girl, I know that. I mean, when can I see the surprise?"

"Oh, in a couple of weeks."

She heard him groan.

"Is it kittens?" he asked.

"NO! NO KITTENS!"

"Darn!"

"You’ll like this one almost better than kittens," she said, laughing.

"Well, okay then, if you say so. I’ll go down to your house and get on those pictures right away. I should have them posted in a couple of hours or less."

"Thanks, Clem. Love you!"

"Love you, too, Buffy. Take good care of my surprise, okay?"

"Okay, Bye Clem!"

Buffy smiled to herself. It was something that she felt proud of having thought up. Ah, technology.

Clem scratched his head. In all the time she’d lived in Spike’s house, she had never once had anyone up there to visit. Not a new friend, nor an old one. Now she wanted to show pictures of it? To who, he wondered, nervously. Was she planning on selling the house? He hoped not, he’d hate to have to move.

"No, she wouldn’t do that," he reasoned with himself. "Would she?"

"Nah!" he shrugged, then got ready to go over and find her digital camera.

Later that evening William was in the bedroom, waiting for her, reading the poetry anthology Dawn had given him. He had taken to reading a couple of poems to Elizabeth before they snuggled down for the night.

On her way to the bedroom, she borrowed Dawn’s laptop and went to Yahoo, clicked on My Photos, put in her password, and there they were. She smiled, herself, seeing her house in Julian. Their house, now.

"I want to show you something," she said, coming into the bedroom.

She sat down on the bed and put her knees up for the laptop to rest on. Her cell phone was connected to it.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It’s our house, William," she said. "I called Clem and…"

"Clem?"

"Yeah, Clem. I had him download, or rather upload, maybe both…anyway, here they are."

"Did you tell him anything? About me?" he asked, wondering about the only man she’d mentioned as his friend.

She smiled at William, not exactly the reaction she’d expected.

"I didn’t William. He’s so…sensitive, and he gets excited so easily, I thought it better that I tell him about you when we get back," she said, adding, "think if I told him about you on the phone, he might have fainted. Then I couldn’t have gotten him to send the pictures. I did tell him I had a surprise for him, though."

"I see," he said, a bit sadly.

William looked on, as she clicked on the 20 or so photos, explaining what each of them was and where they were taken from.

"What do you think?" she asked, "as pretty as here, huh?"

He’d been quiet as she explained the photos to him, only asking a couple of questions.

He nodded, "Yes, it seems quite beautiful," he said, pensively.

"What’s the matter?"

He just shook his head.

"Makes it kind of ‘really’ real?"

He nodded. It had taken him a while, but he almost understood her funny speech patterns now.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push this on you, just thought you might like to see the house."

"You’re not pushing it on me, as you say. Nothing to be sorry about."

"I just wanted you to know that out there," she motioned beyond the bedroom, in a sweeping gesture, "that we have a home waiting for us, just as beautiful as this place is. And that belongs to us, I should add, since this one doesn’t."

"I know. It’s just rather strange to think about it. Home. I…such a word."

"It’s a beautiful word, William. Especially when it’s coupled with the expression, ‘Home is where the heart is,’ ever hear that?"

He nodded.

"It’s just a place, a place with memories, but it’ll be a ‘home’ again because of you, because you and I will…" she started, getting choked up.

He turned, and smiled, taking her face in his hands. "That’s it! Don’t you see? That’s why it feels so odd to me; and why I feel, ‘attached’ to this place right now, It’s because you’re here with me, Elizabeth, and because you’re here, this feels like home. When I was in the hospital and you asked me if I wanted to go home with you, I hardly could comprehend what you were telling me about the house and all that, all I knew was that you would be there! But now I understand, when we’re there, it will become, ‘home,’ because you’re…I love you," he said, his own words shocked him, as he looked in her eyes to see what was reflected back.

A little sound, caught in her throat, as the tears spilled over, "I love you, too!" she said, pulling his face toward hers, and kissing him.

Still kissing, he closed the laptop and moved it to the floor, then settled down on top her for the first time, since they’d been together. She moaned as she felt his weight, the length of his body, his desire rubbing against her.

He kissed her mouth, her eyes, her neck, as they rocked against each other.

"I want you so much, Elizabeth," he said to her.

"Have me, then," she said back.

He looked down at her, desire in the blue pools of his eyes.

He pulled her over, so they were on their sides. Still looking at him, she undid the top button of her pajama top, then nodded at him. Hands trembling, he reached over and started to undo the rest of her buttons. When he was finished, he gently pushed one side of it off of her shoulder. She leaned up, so he could pull it off the other side.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw her small, perfect breasts for the first time. Her chest rose and fell as she watched him lean over and chastely plant a kiss on each breast. "You’re so beautiful," he said to her. She pulled his head down, and his mouth closed over her nipple, as his hand fondled her other breast.

She moaned, as sensations she hadn’t felt in over five years, pulled at her from low in her womb.

William was lost in the moment, lost in the feel of her soft breast in his mouth, feeling the puckering of her nipple when he sucked it, feeling her arch towards him, moaning when he did it a certain way. With the fingers of his other hand, he explored the softness of her breast, the feel of her nipples between his fingers. He reached up to kiss her lips and neck, before switching sides, once again hearing her moan and arch against him.

Buffy was rubbing his back, rhythmically, when her hands went underneath his waistband, as she reached for his behind. He moaned her name, as he pushed against her. She took her hand out, and brought it around to his front. She pulled the cord of his sweat pants, loosening it at the waist, and reached down and put her hand around his straining cock.

He gasped, stopping to look up at her, a combination of fear and awe in his eyes.

"It’s alright, William," she said, "isn’t it?" she asked as her fingers teased him from top to bottom.

He could just nod, dumbly.

"It would be a little better if you took these off, though," she said with a teasing smile, pulling the elastic of the waistband and letting it smack back into him.

"Uh, yes. Of course," he said, and started to stand up to take them off.

He stopped, standing at the sight of the bed, looking at her bare-breasted and glowing. He knew he didn’t deserve anyone as fine as her.

"Elizabeth? Are you sure you want to…?"

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, "I’m sure, if you are," she said, looking up into his eyes, as she pulled his pants down.

"Oh God, yes!" he whispered.

She couldn’t resist, with him standing in front of her in all his glory, she pulled him slowly toward her as her other hand came up his thigh, to rest gently under his sac. Still looking at him, she took her hand and ran it the length of his cock, as she brought her mouth to its head. She licked it, as he gasped, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You don’t have to," he said, his hands on her face.

"I know, William. I want to. Now shhhh," she said, as she put her mouth around him.

He gave up trying to resist. He moaned, as he ran his hands through her hair.

"Oh God, Elizabeth," he gasped, as he felt a pleasure he’d never known existed.

He pulled away from her just in time. Kicking off the pants from his ankles, he pushed her back onto the bed, and climbed atop her, kissing her passionately. He could feel her heat through the thin nylon of her bottoms.

He got on his knees, straddling her, as he pulled them down, taking in the sight of all of her.

"You’re so beautiful," he said to her, as his hands ran up along the sides of her thighs, then switched to her inner thighs, his hands softly brushing over her most sensitive of areas.

She pulled at his arms, so that he came back down toward her, hands around his neck, she kissed him deep, as she opened herself up to him. She put one hand down between them to help guide him.

And then he was. He stopped after only entering her a couple of inches. He looked up at her, searching her face for any sign that this wasn’t what she wanted.

Elizabeth looked up at him with trust and love, her arms around his back, pulling him in close. They both gasped, as he pushed inside her completely.

Never had he known such ecstasy before. All the poetry in the world didn’t do this feeling he had in his heart, in his very soul, at this moment any kind of justice.

She’s so tight, so hot, so wet, he thought.

Tears filled Buffy’s eyes as pleasure and pain washed over her.

In between kissing her, he looked up at her face, "You alright? I’m not hurting you, am I?" he asked, concerned, as he stopped his movements.

"No, no, it’s alright, William. Don’t stop," she said, thrusting up toward him, and using her muscles to tighten around him. "I missed you so much," she said, grabbing onto his head, she kissed him hard, her tongue tasting his.

That was all he needed, he kissed her back in kind, resuming his thrusts.

The pain was gone, and all Buffy felt was the pleasure, as the wave after wave of her orgasm came crashing in.

Calling out her name, as her muscles clamed down around him, his release came like a torrent, seconds later.

He lay on top of her, both of them catching their breath. He covered her face with soft kisses, as she hugged him close to her.

Finally, he rolled off her pulling her toward him, as they lay on their sides, facing each other.

"Was it…?" William started to ask.

"Shhh. It was wonderful," Buffy answered, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

"I just…I never. I’ve never made love to a woman before," he said, then thinking of what she’d told him in the hospital, amended, "at least I can’t remember having done so. You’d think I’d remember that, wouldn’t you?"

"William, you did just fine, whether or not you remember. It was wonderful," she said, stroking his face, "you were wonderful."

He smiled then, a look of a man who was proud of himself, satisfied that he’d been able to please his woman.

William pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head, and limbs entwined, they fell into a peaceful sleep.

In the kitchen, Dawn and Willow were having the last of their cocoa. Dawn had gotten up when the moaning coming from her sister and William’s bedroom had gotten to be too much, and Willow had been awakened by Dawn clanking about in the kitchen.

"Well, Willow, looks like you owe me $5.00," Dawn said, giggling.

"Yeah, you did say they’d wind up, ‘doing the deed,’ by the end of the first week, didn’t you?"

"Sure did, especially when they decided to share a bed. That and I don’t think Buffy has had any in over five years. At least if she has, she hasn’t told me," Dawn said, smirking.

"Well, you won fair and square. I did say it wouldn’t be until the second or third week. Although, I have to say, William getting that haircut probably is what did it," Willow noted.

"Lucky for me, then. Lucky for Buffy. Five years. I’d go nuts if I had to…" she looked over at Willow, who looked shocked.

"Come on, Willow, didn’t think I was still a virgin, did you?"

"Um, I…guess I never thought about it, but look Dawnie, I’m so not going to have that conversation with you!"

"Prude," she said, smiling at Willow.

"Tramp!"

"Victorian!"

"Harlot!"

"Still owe me five big ones!"

"Smarty-pants!"

END CHAPTER 57

They had awoken many times during the night, to once again make love. Each time flesh came in contact with naked flesh; desire had overcome sleep and wouldn't be denied.

The first time she’d awoken the next morning was to find him staring at her. She smiled at his look, so serious, so devoted. "What is it?" she asked, questioningly.

"Last night," he said, his voice filled with emotion, "was the best night of my life. I just didn’t want to close my eyes, just wanted to hold you, watch you sleep."

Her heart nearly collapsed onto itself. Those words, Spike’s words, almost exact almost the same. At least this time, it wasn’t that he’d only just held her. She reached up and pulled his mouth hungrily toward hers, until, once again, they were locked in an embrace, his warmth, his passion filling her up. Him lost inside her heat.

A couple of hours later, Buffy awoke again, this time feeling sore, in a good kind of way. She could hear his even breathing behind her. Just thinking about William, his arms wrapped around her, his cock, even in his sleep, pushing gently between her backside, made her wet, made her clit pulse in anticipation.

As if reading her thoughts, he nuzzled her neck, as his hand started kneading her nipple, and his cock strained against her.

Buffy pushed back against him in response, and he pulled her over, so she was facing him. They found each other's mouths and hungrily kissed each other, as if it had been years, rather than just hours that they'd been away from each other. His strong arm around her, he pulled her on top him, as his cock pushed upwards, trying to find her. Without taking her mouth from his, she scooted up into a kneeling position, and spread her legs around him, guiding him inside. She sat back on her knees, eyes glazed over from the feeling of having him inside her once again, buried as deep as he could be, she rocked on him, building up momentum, as he reached forward, grabbing a nipple with his mouth.

He pulled her down on him, kissing her hard, "Love you, love you, Elizabeth," he said, as his hands pulled on her hips to meet his thrusts. They kept this up for a few minutes, until she could feel him hardening even more, as seconds later they both came, moans of pleasure, along with the sound of the bed hitting the wall mingled.

"Can't get enough of you," he whispered to her, as her head lay on his chest.

"Me either, William, never enough," she said, kissing him.

"All I want; all I've ever wanted, Elizabeth. To love and be loved."

"I know, William. I always knew," she said, kissing him, feeling guilty for having known it so long ago, having ignored it, having used him so badly at times.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"About what?" he asked, all of a sudden, concern in his eyes.

"I wasn't always...I did know, but I didn't always....nevermind."

"Whatever it was, it can't be so bad, can it? This is all that matters, right now. I love you, Elizabeth, that's all I know, all I care about," he said, kissing her.

She kissed him back. He was so innocent about himself, about her. She felt guilty knowing all she knew about both of them. She wished she could have a big dose of memory loss herself, allowed only, to be swept away and in love with William, without all the baggage. Wished she could be back in 1880 with him and just have lived that life, not the one that she’d had. Oh, they could have been so happy!

Stop it, Buffy, what the hell are you doing? She asked herself, isn't this what you wanted? If not, why all the skimpy pajamas and heavy make-out sessions? Why every thought you’ve had concerning him in the past months? These past years? He’s back now, here! Why can't you just accept his love, without second guessing yourself or him?

Aloud, to him she murmured, "I know, I know. Me, too, William, love you, too!"

She hugged him, while her eyes unintentionally glanced down at the floor. Underneath the dresser stuck out the Wal-Mart bag, with the personal stuff she’d bought in the pharmacy. Oops. Good thing she wasn’t in the middle of her cycle. Or was it? She’d had a thought, to just ignore buying those things yesterday. What if…what if something happened to him? Something she couldn’t foresee? The thought had occurred to her that if…just if she were to become pregnant, then she would have a part of him with her always.

Sanity won out, however, and she’d made the purchases. No use tempting the unbelievable good fortune that had befallen them both at this moment, by adding complications to the equation.

"Marry me!" he said, looking her in the eyes.

"Wh? What?" she stammered, brought out of her reverie by his words.

"I love you and you love me. And now that we’ve…made love. I want to make an honest woman of you," he said, then seeing her expression, he laughed, "I know…today, you’re considered honest even if you have a lover, right?"

She nodded, dumbstruck.

"But I’m an old-fashioned sort of chap, and besides, you’ve already taken my name, and from what you said, some people already think you were married to me. And we do have the nice picture. Make me the happiest man in the world, Elizabeth, say you’ll marry me for real," he said, kissing her.

"I…I…it’s…I…it’s just. I think we should wait until we get back to California to…discuss this, don’t you?"

He looked at her. It wasn’t just the talk about getting married, once they were back home that made her hesitate, but something else he sensed.

"Don’t you want to marry me?" he asked, his eyes looking into hers, imploring.

She looked back at William, looking more than Spike than ever with the new haircut, looking at her like Spike, or was it Spike’s William used to do? All soulful, hopeful, usually before she bashed his hopes in. All that had been between them, love, hate, pain, pleasure, death, rebirth...how could it be such a simple answer to such a complicated question?

"William," she said, as she put her hand on his face, trying to find the right words. "I do. Want to marry you. More importantly still, I want us to be together, to never be apart again. It’s just…I just…think that we should wait…to see if after we get back to California, if your memory comes back, then you can think about what you’ve asked…"

"Don’t you think I’d still would want to marry you? Didn’t you say we were together already? Lovers, even? I don’t know why it should depend on my memory coming back or not. And what if it doesn’t? Are you telling me that you won’t…?"

"No, no! It’s not that at all. I…it’s just…all so sudden. I mean, it’s not exactly, but we haven’t been with each other for over 5 years, last night was the first time we…were together that way. I just think that it’s too soon," Buffy added lamely.

William smarted from the, ‘it’s so sudden,’ remark. Seems he’d heard that from another young lady a long time ago, before she’d shot him down.

"I see," he said, turning away from her, "well maybe in your time things like this are sudden, but I don’t consider what we did as casual at all. I asked you! Asked you if you were sure."

Now she smarted from the remark, but tried to keep her anger in, "I said yes, didn’t I? And no, I didn’t consider it casual, as you put it. But now that you bring it up, you weren’t always the virgin you are now," she said, and instantly regretted her words.

"That may be so," he said, coldly, "but I am who I am now. And it’s this man who has asked you to be his wife. Nobody else here, Elizabeth, just me."

She’d been afraid of that; afraid she’d hurt him. How did it get from beautiful to ugly in nothing flat? Leave it to her. Leave it to Buffy to fuck up her life and everyone’s around her. Especially Spike’s and now, apparently, William’s as well.

She got up from the bed, putting on her clothes, "William, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to be, us to be…I’m sorry!" she said, and went out to into the kitchen.

Willow and Dawn were there, "Hey Buffy, how was your night?" Dawn asked, in a voice that Buffy knew that she knew something was up.

"Fine, just fine," she answered, distractedly. "You have the car keys?"

"Yeah, sure, why? What’s wrong Buffy?" Dawn asked, suddenly seeing that Buffy was not in the mood she’d expected her to be in after, what she’d assumed had been a great night for her.

"Here," Willow said, handing her the keys, "where are you going? You want to talk about it?"

"What? Talk? No. I’m fine. Really. Buffy is just fine. Fine at making a mess of everyone’s lives, including her own. Hey, I fucked up Spike’s pretty good, and now I’ve got a second chance at William’s, too."

"Buffy, you’re not!" Willow said.

"I can’t talk about this right now," Buffy said, and ran out the door, "take care of him, I’ll be back later. I don’t know when.

Willow and Dawn stood there with their mouths open, as they heard the crunch of the gravel as the car pulled out.

Buffy wanted to speed off, put the pedal to the metal and all that. If she couldn’t literally run, at least she wanted to drive fast. Unfortunately, she was faced for now with a gravel road and the fact that she had somebody else’s car in her care.

Instead, she turned on the radio and punched the buttons. Half wouldn’t come in and when she finally got station, the song she heard was none other than The Ramones, "I Wanna Be Sedated."

"You have got to be kidding me!" she said, furiously, punching the next button.

"And next, we have Bette Midler’s, "Wind Beneath My Wings," said the announcer.

"What the…? Christ on a Cross, what is this? Music-to-constantly-remind-Buffy-of-what-a-fuck-up-she-is-music-request-day?" Once again, she pushed a button, and sighed in relief when it was the Temptations. Whew. Of course, it was followed by The Supremes, "Where Did Our Love Go?" Buffy turned off the radio. "The hell with it!"

Willow and Dawn had breakfast in silence.

"Do you think we should check on William?" Dawn asked.

"Let’s give him a little more time," Willow answered.

They were reluctant to leave the cabin, and so for the next couple of hours, they just cleaned, watched some morning show and puttered about.

"I’m going to check on him," Dawn said, finally.

Willow nodded her agreement.

"William?" Dawn said, through the door. "Don’t you want to come out and have some breakfast? It’s a lovely day."

He didn’t answer.

Dawn opened the door. William lay there with his eyes closed, feigning sleep.

"William, come on out. I know you’re not asleep. Come on, I’ll make you something to eat."

"I’m not hungry. I…I just want to be alone."

"Look, William, I don’t know what happened between you and Buf…Elizabeth, but I do know my sister. She’s afraid. She always has been, especially when things get intense, emotional. As much as she needs this…" she drifted off in her own thoughts, "as much as she needs you, she’s just terribly afraid, William. Afraid she’ll lose you again. She’ll come around, you’ll see."

She hesitated, "She loves you, she has for such a long time, I just think that now that she’s actually faced with the possibilities, the reality of you being here again, that she can’t handle it all at once. Okay? Just remember; she does love you. Just give it some time. She’ll be back before long."

Dawn started to close the door, "Oh, and William? If you feel like talking…?"

"Thank you," he said to her.

Elizabeth scared? Hadn’t Dr.Turner told him that, the day she first came to see him, too?

Stupid ponce! He berated himself. Things were going so well, and you have to go and muck them all up. Always getting yourself in trouble with your big mouth! Scared her away with all your yammering. Probably’ll never touch you again, make you sleep on the couch. Stupid git!

And so it went, for the rest of the day, as William, horrified at what he’d said to her, berating himself. Expectant at every time the door opened or closed, and sinking into a deeper and deeper depression as the day turned into evening.

Buffy had intentions of just going into Niles or South Bend and doing some shopping, but when she crossed over the highway, she impulsively turned the car, taking the entry ramp that said, "Holland."

"Always wanted to go to ‘Holland’, okay, really didn’t, but it sounds nice and hey, highway driving," she said, as accelerated to 80mph.

An hour later, she exited at the Holland sign and drove around town. She stopped at a Dutch wooden shoe, tourist-y shop and looked around. Then she paid $6.00 to go and tour Windmill Island, although there were hardly any tulips to see now. The brochure stated they had a huge festival every May, with 100,000 tulips, originally imported from the real Holland. She sighed, "Day late, dollar short, what’s new?" Still, it was an interesting place. Annuals abounded, and she even went inside the Little Netherlands Museum.

After grabbing a sandwich at the local Subway, she headed to Holland State Park, on the shores of Lake Michigan. She sat for the rest of the day on the beach, looking out at the water and the historic red lighthouse.

"Why the hell did he have to go and start talking marriage to me? Now? So soon…?" she said, to herself over and over again.

But slowly it came to dawn on her, that it was only her own insecurities that had made her take such a hasty retreat. It was her fear, not just about how he would handle the memories, if and when they came, but about her own lack of deservedness, she felt about herself.

The more she thought about it all, the worse she felt. He’d reached out to her and she’d run off. Same old Buffy! Scared to let him in. Hell, she’d let him in, alright, but not in the way he wanted, not into her heart. Not really.

She always knew the real truth. It wasn’t that Spike had been beneath her, it was the other way around. And now, still, she was beneath William, as well.

Hot tears spilled down her eyes, as she made her way back to the car. She’d make it up to him, somehow. She felt awful, having left him there all day. It was the first time she’d been apart from him in a week for more than a few minutes, and her heart was already breaking into a million pieces. If she felt this way, what must he be feeling? Then again, was he? Maybe he was furious at her, maybe he ran off, too. Her heart was pounding, as she got on the highway, and this time, doing 90mph, hurried back to the cabin.

Neither Dawn nor Willow could convince William to come out and take his meals with them. Willow insisted that Dawn bring him a sandwich around 2pm and later, a steak they’d cooked.

He thanked Dawn, but said he truly wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t touched the sandwich or drink she’d brought him earlier.

Finally, about 9pm, after he heard them go out to the little store for ice cream, he got up and left the cabin. They’d come back and were sitting on the swing, when they saw him standing alone on the beach.

Dawn had bought him some Mackinaw Island Fudge, and she went down to the beach to give it to him.

"Here, William, I brought you this."

"Thanks, but I really don’t…"

"I don’t care if you really don’t. You’d better eat something, or I’m going to be the one whose ass gets chewed out by Buffy, if you don’t!"

"Why isn’t she back?" he asked, in a small voice that betrayed his pain.

Dawn really didn’t know. She was beginning to get concerned herself. It really wasn’t like Buffy to run off in a strange place and lose herself, was it?

"She’ll be back real soon," Dawn said, patting William on his back, to reassure him, "I feel it!"

Dawn had left him with the cone and gone back up to the wooden swing, where Willow was waiting for her.

"How is he?"

"Concerned that Buffy’s not back, and hey, I am, too. Ungrateful bitch!"

"Dawn!" Willow said, shocked.

"Well, damn it! She is. You, me, we all came on this joyride because we love her and want her to be happy, right?"

Willow just nodded.

"So what does she do? Seduces the poor sap all week long, until finally last night…then runs off leaving us to watch him fall apart. You know what? I hated her when Spike went away to get his soul."

She looked over to see Willow’s look of surprise.

"Yeah, that’s right, and nobody knew. I know what he tried to do, but you know what? She drove him right over the edge. I went to see him that afternoon. Didn’t know that, did you? I told him how much he’d hurt her…by sleeping with Anya, so the whole thing…it was my fault. I mean not what he did, that was horrible, but why he was even there that night. If he hadn’t come over right then, hadn’t tried…" she said, as angry tears from years of holding it in squeezed themselves out of her long lashes.

"Oh, honey, it wasn’t your fault. He was wrong no matter why he was there, and he knew it, even if she’d ping-ponged him around," Willow said, putting an arm around her.

Dawn continued, as if she hadn’t heard her, "He’d just come to apologize, because of me. Me. Oh, Willow…and when he came back, after what I found out, I just couldn’t look him in the eyes. Not because of what he’d done so much, because, honestly, I don’t think it was like he planned to hurt her, but because of what I’d done, I’d gone over to his crypt, read him the riot act, told him how much he’d hurt her. All he’d done is try to come to apologize," she said, her voice breaking, as she let out the years of guilt.

"It’s all over Dawn, it’s not your fault. Oh, and lest you forget, got a whole bunch of my own guilt over that whole time period. Murder, mayhem, black magic, just to name a few."

"Look, if Spike hadn’t gone to get his soul back, well, then, Buffy probably really wouldn’t have fallen in love with him. He probably wouldn’t have saved the world and we’d all be dead. And, see that," she said, pointing to he lone figure on the beach, "that man, William, wouldn’t be here now, back in Buffy’s life, back in ours, too."

Dawn sniffed, "Is he going to stay, though?" she asked. "Forever I mean? Buffy told me that there was a part of the prophecy that you couldn’t read."

Willow hesitated a moment, "Sure, I don’t see why not, Dawnie. Of course he is!"

"Not if Buffy fucks, I mean, mucks it up!"

"Well, we’re just going to have to save her from her old stupid self, then aren’t we?" Willow asked, grinning.

"Yeah, you got that right! Stupid bitch!"

"Nice girl, not so smart," Willow added, "don’t tell her I said so, okay?"

"Not unless you tell her I called her a stupid bitch," Dawn said, as she went back to licking her drippy ice-cream cone.

"Deal!"

END CHAPTER 58

Willow and Dawn returned to the cabin a while later, when the mosquitoes were getting to them.

They'd agreed William would be alright on the beach by himself for a while. He was now just sitting there, knees bent, watching the water.

They were only in the cabin a few minutes, when Buffy burst through the door. She went to the bedroom door, opening it, just as Willow told her, "He's not there."

"What? Where is he?" she asked, fear beginning to grip her.

"Relax Buffy, he's out sitting on the beach."

"What? You let him out there alone? I thought I told you..."

Dawn interrupted her sister, "Number one, Buffy, William didn't eat all day or come out of his room until this evening, when we went to get ice cream. And we tried to get him to do both, believe me. Second, you handed him off to us like he was yesterday's trash, left for the whole day, so where do you get off coming in here, guns blazing, asking us 'how could we this?' or 'how could we that?' that's what I'd like to know Buffy! I'd like to know how the hell could you do this to him? Leave him here depressed, anxious, alone? Where's your comeback now, Buffy?" Dawn asked, her eyes livid.

Buffy sagged, as if someone had just let all the air out of her tires, "You're right, Dawn. I did leave. I'm so sorry, I've got to go and find him, apologize."

"What happened between you two, Buffy? Willow asked, "you guys were getting along so great, we heard you this morning, you know."

"And last night," Dawn added, rolling her eyes.

"He asked me to marry him," Buffy said, softly.

"He what?" Dawn asked.

"William asked me to marry him," she repeated.

"That's great! That's wonderful! That's...what's wrong, Buffy? I don't understand."

"Neither do I Dawn, neither do I. It's just...how can I say yes? And right now? It's...William’s not Spike, not really. I know; I've been treating him sort of like he is, at least with all the familiarness, and then last night...but he's not. Once he gets to know me, he probably wouldn't even want...to."

"Oh, Buffy!" Willow said, shaking her head.

"Buffy, you know what? You're one stupid bitch," Dawn said.

Buffy's head jerked up.

"Yeah, that's what I said! When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that Spike, whether he's Spike, or, now his human self, William, loves you? You and only you!"

"Um, excuse me Dawn, if you don't mind?"

Dawn nodded at Willow.

"Another thing you might want to consider, is how many people in this whole world, Buffy, get another chance at love like you've been given? Do you even know how unbelievable this is? What a miracle it is for Spike, William, and by the way, I do see the similarities between the two, we all do, so forget the bull about William not being Spike and all that crap, Buffy. But on to what I was saying, do you realize that this is a miracle? That you and he, of all the people in the world, have been blessed with a second chance?"

Buffy just looked at her, like she was deciding something.

Willow nodded, "Go to him, for God sakes Buffy!"

Buffy ran out the sliding door and looked down at the beach. It was empty.

"William!" she yelled, and didn't hear anything.

Dawn and Willow came running out.

"He was just there a couple of minutes ago," Dawn said, helplessly.

"I'll go walk around the campground," Willow said, "maybe someone's seen him. Maybe he just went to use the one of the restrooms."

"I don't think he would," Buffy said, knowing he didn't like public places, much.

"Oh God, you don't think...?"

"No, Buffy. I don't think anything bad happened to him. Willow has the protection spell on him to keep all demons away, and I don't think he just walked into the water and drowned," Dawn said, giving voice to Buffy's fears.

"I'm going to look for him," Buffy said, and pulled out a stake from her purse.

"You going to stake him?" Willow asked.

"No, but if I find anyone has messed with him, demon or otherwise, I'll be staking them," she said, and took off down the road in front of the cabin.

"I’ll stay here, in case he comes back," Dawn volunteered, handing Willow a couple of flashlights.

Willow decided to walk through the campground. Lots of people were still outdoors, tending their own little fires, sitting on outdoor furniture, roasting marshmallows. She stopped by each she saw, asking if they'd seen William. Finally, the last group of people she asked told her they had.

"British accent? Yeah, we saw him, headed across the field there, toward the barn," he said to Willow, "saw him when I was coming back from the store, wished me a good evening. Nice fellow, seemed like."

"Oh, thanks a million," she replied, hurrying off toward the other side of the campground. Halfway there, she ran into Buffy.

"Someone saw him, said he was heading in the direction of the barn."

Buffy looked toward where Willow was pointing, "Or the woods," she said, noticing the dark trees, beyond.

"I've got it," Buffy said, starting in that direction.

"I'm coming with you," Willow said, not waiting for her reply.

They quickly walked over toward the barn. The door was open.

"You check down here, Willow, I'll take the loft."

"Gotcha," Willow answered, handing Buffy one of the flashlights.

Willow walked around the cavernous barn, shining her flashlight into the nooks and crannies, while Buffy went upstairs. The loft was only half as large as the first floor, but contained lots of old crates, a piano, and other asundry items relegated to disuse.

"William!" she called, "It's Elizabeth."

She listened but didn't hear anything, until she turned to leave, then thought she heard a small sound coming from the far corner. Quietly, stake in hand, she crept around the crates. Finally, she could make out his form, sitting against a wall in the corner, head down on his knees, hands over his head, rocking himself.

Her heart broke, as she recognized the position from when Spike had been living in the school's basement.

"William," she said, as she knelt down next to him, "it's me, Elizabeth. I'm so sorry I left like that this morning. I’m so very sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, please believe me, I never want to hurt you anymore," she said, starting to cry, as she hugged his unresponsive form.

"He's not down here Buffy!" Willow called.

"Buffy?"

Buffy got up to walk closer to the steps; "He's here Willow. He's up here. Um, listen, I'm going to stay here with him for a while. We'll be back in...I don' t know. Just come back if we're not back in an hour, okay?"

"Sure Buffy, um, is he okay?"

"I think so, he will be. Thanks, Willow."

"Okay, going to go tell Dawn you found him. Bye."

"Bye."

She returned to where William was still sitting hunched over. She knelt down next to him, putting her arms around him to still his rocking. He sat there, tightly wound, unmoving, despite her arms around him.

"Please talk to me. Please forgive me, I'm so sorry, William. I don't want to see you hurt. I only want us to be together. Please," she said, her voice breaking.

She worked her hands underneath his, pulling his face upward.

He looked at her as though he had just awoken, "I’ve figured it out," he said, softly to her.

"What?" she asked, scared.

"Why you’re afraid," he answered, looking her in the eyes.

"Why I’m…"

"I…I’ve let you down. I’ve been gone," he said, "I’ve been gone and I don’t even know where and you’ve been alone. I’m so sorry."

She looked at him; his eyes were filled with some sort of pain she couldn’t fathom.

Her own eyes spilled over, "No, William. No! You didn’t leave me. You saved me, saved my life, do you hear me? And then…you…you were lost. You were…it doesn’t matter! You’re found now. I found you! You’re not lost now!" she said, meaning the much more than this moment in the barn.

He pulled her toward him, onto his lap, kissed the tears on her cheeks, on her chin, on her eyes, her lips, "Neither are you anymore, Elizabeth. Neither are you."

They sat there for the next half-hour, kissing each other, rediscovering the taste of each other’s mouths, whispering, ‘I’m sorrys,’ and ‘I knows,’ and ‘love yous,’ before finally falling into a sort of peace with each other.

"Let’s go home, William," Buffy finally said.

He nodded.

They rose up, and arms around each other made their way back to the cabin.

Dawn was just about to send Willow back out, when they came in.

"Hey guys," Buffy said, while William just nodded.

She turned to him, "Why don’t you go get into bed, and I’ll bring you something to eat," she said.

"Okay," he said, and went off.

"There’s a sandwich I made him earlier in the fridge," Dawn said, "should still be good."

"Okay, thanks, Dawn," Buffy said, "I want to make him some tea, too."

Buffy busied herself in the kitchen. William came by on his way to the bathroom. They smiled at each other, shyly.

"You guys okay now?" Willow asked, expectantly.

"Yeah, we’re good. More than good, I think."

"Just give yourselves time, Buffy. That’s all you guys need, is a little more time. Soon you guys will be firing on all engines. Just trust yourself, don’t over think everything all the time."

"Yes, mother, I will. Thank you, Willow."

"Just don’t let me repeat myself, Missy!" Willow said, as she grabbed a book off the dining room table to take to her room."

"I won’t, I promise," Buffy answered, laughing softly.

William had helped Elizabeth carry the sandwich and cups of tea to the bedroom. After they had the tea, and he’d had his sandwich, they turned off the lights and settled down to sleep.

Like the first nights, they kissed, him pulling her on top him, moaning, she went to remove her top.

"Um, maybe we shouldn’t," he said. "Maybe it’s…maybe we should give this some more time," he said, bravely, although dying to touch her.

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, maybe," she said, rolling off of him.

They continued to kiss, until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next morning, she awoke to once again feel his hardness at her backside, and his hand fondling her breast.

She smiled. He was still asleep. At least she thought he was, until he pushed against her, and his fingers started moving across her nipple, causing her breath to catch in her throat.

She put her arm around her, pulling him over and kissed him, her arm around his neck.

"Hey," Buffy said, smiling, "thought you were trying to be all noble, proper, and what-not, there last night, William."

He sighed, "If you’ll please excuse my language, Elizabeth, but the hell with proper," he said, smiling shyly, yet almost devilishly at her, "I’ve come to the conclusion that proper is most highly overrated."

And to add emphasis to that statement, he kissed her so passionately, she thought she was going to melt into the bed. And she very nearly did.

END CHAPTER 59

CHAPTER 60 – TAVERN ON THE GREEN

Willow and Dawn were both finished with breakfast, just having their coffee on the deck when Buffy and William joined them.

"Good morning, guys," Dawn said, as she bit down on her lip trying not to make any knowing faces at her sister that William might see. Faces that would say, 'I know what you did this morning!'

"Good morning," Buffy and William both echoed, as they sat down with their bowls of cereal and coffees.

They sat side by side on the same side of the picnic bench, only slightly apart, close enough for Buffy to entwine her lower leg in his, while he tried to pretend it wasn't distracting him.

"Nice day," William said, "are we going to the beach today?"

"Don't see why not," Buffy answered, smiling brightly.

After they'd finished, Dawn asked William to help her in the kitchen.

"So, how you guys doing?" Willow asked, innocently.

Buffy looked over and saw the not-so-innocent look on her friend. Blushing she said, "Good. Real good."

Willow giggled, "You guys really should sound-proof that room!"

"You can hear that much through the walls?" Buffy asked, mortified.

"I should record it!"

"You wouldn't!"

"No, I wouldn't. But hey, if I did, I can see selling it under the title, "Former Slayer Girl and Former Vamp, Gone Wild!"

Buffy groaned, then got a mischievous look in her eyes. "Think it would sell? Maybe we could start a cottage industry."

"Hey, you made a pun!"

"So I did..."

"Need to change the subject, Buffy."

"Thank God!"

"It's about when and how we're going to head back to California."

"Oh."

'Yeah, oh. Look, we really need to make some plans, because we have to make reservations, arrangements, rent whatever we're planning on driving, all that stuff."

"I know."

"I thought that maybe I could talk to Xander about driving us, or at least share the driving."

"No, Willow. I don’t think that would work out."

"Why not?"

"Like I told Dawn, I haven’t even spoken to him in years, for one thing. I’ve thought often about him, and Dawn keeps in contact, but I just…didn’t want him to be reminded of…well, all of it, me, Sunnydale, demons, vampires…"

"Losing his eye."

Buffy flinched, "Yeah, that, too."

"I think he came to terms with that a long time ago. You know how he is; he doesn’t dwell on the bad, just goes on living. Did you know he’s married and has a couple of kids?"

"Yeah, Dawn told me. Alex and Ann right? Wife’s name is Angela?"

Willow smiled.

"What?"

"Just for someone who hasn’t talked to him, you remembered all the important things."

"He was my friend."

"He still is."

Buffy shook her head, "Not really, and that’s okay. He needed to have a normal, life more than any of us; it’s what he was born to have. Not me, I was called, and you, you powerful witch, you…"

"I think he’d do it," Willow said.

"He didn’t even like Spike, in fact, pretty much hated him after what he did, rather tried to do, even after he got his soul," she said, voice low. "I don’t think he’d care even that Spike is human now, that he’s William. So, why would he want to leave his family? Drive or fly here, just to drive him across country?"

"Maybe, because like me, I realize how much we owe him. Spike. If it hadn’t been for him, none of us would be living the lives we’re leading now. The First would have most certainly destroyed a good portion of the world, if not all of it, if it hadn’t been stopped. I mean there must have been thousands and thousands of ubervamps inside the Hellmouth. Spike saved us all."

Buffy’s eyes had grown moist thinking back to all that she’d lost, but also to all that had been saved. "I know," she said quietly.

"Xander’s not the kind of guy who’s the deep thinker type, but I think on some level, he realizes what Spike did, what sacrifice he made."

"I don’t know," Buffy said, "one thing I know for sure though, Wil, and that’s Xander doesn’t owe me or Spike anything. He paid plenty up front, for years. I…just don’t think that it’s fair to ask him to do anything for me, not anymore."

"I’m going to ask him anyway. Look at it like this Buffy. I would love to see Xander, we all would. It’s not like we’re going to be in any danger, I mean, because of Spike, not with the protection spell and all that. It will be like old times, all of us together," Willow said, so hopefully that Buffy almost smiled.

"Okay, okay, you win. Now, how are we going to ask him?"

"Well, here’s my plan…"

June 24, 2008

Tuesday

6:30am

Buffy awoke in William’s arms, warm, secure, complete. She sighed, happily. This had been the happiest time of perhaps, her whole life, this past week. Life was good. Simple. Hug, kiss, love, eat, swim, eat, hug, kiss, make love, repeat.

Buffy kissed him on the lips, softly. He kissed her back, without opening his eyes, pulling her in closer.

"I didn’t ask," she whispered.

"Don’t have to," he replied, as his hands started roaming over her body, a body he’d gotten to have known so well in the past few days. A body that responded to his touches eagerly, each and every time.

"No, oh, oh…William. I have to go…no time right now," she gasped between kissing him, feeling herself start to turn to a wanton state of goo.

"No, stay, just a while," he said to her between kisses, eyes pleading with her, as his hand tenderly cupped and stroked her backside.

She didn’t have the willpower to tell him no, "It has to be quick, William."

"I know, Elizabeth. I want to make love to you slow though, make you come a hundred times, a hundred different ways, all of them with you screaming my name, but for you, right now; I’ll be quick about it. Just as long as you don’t leave me without letting you show you how much I want you, first," he whispered to her, his voice so sensual, she nearly climaxed right then.

In that way, William was very much like Spike, very much with the sensual talk before, during, and after. Making love to him was a whole, mind, body, heart experience that left her so full, sometimes she thought she might burst.

"Dawn! Wake up," Buffy said, standing over Dawn’s bed in the front room, as she ran a hairbrush through her wet hair.

"Huh? Buffy? What time is it?"

"It’s 7:30. Willow and I are leaving for the airport. You sure you going to be alright, watching William?"

"Sure, we’ll be fine," Dawn said, getting up, "don’t worry! I’m not going to let anything happen to him. I’ll watch him like a mother hen, okay? Now go!" she said, kissing Buffy on the cheek, as she walked with her toward the kitchen.

"We’ll be back tonight. Remember," Buffy said, whispering, "William only knows that we’ve gone to talk to see an old friend, but not that we’re flying somewhere. I just don’t want him to worry."

"I know. I won’t say anything. He’ll be fine; we’ll be fine. Honest."

She heard the car honking for her, "Okay, see you. Take care of him, and yourself."

"Bye, Buffy!" Dawn said, turning on the coffeepot.

"American Airlines flight number 21 from South Bend to Newark, New Jersey is on time and will be landing in 10 minutes. Please buckle your seat belts, return your seats to their upright positions, and put your trays back up."

Buffy glanced at her watch. It was 10:30am. Xander was going to meet them during his lunch hour.

"Excited?" she asked Willow.

"Yeah, I can hardly wait to see him," she answered, "this has been the longest time that we’ve ever been apart. Five years. I can’t believe it!"

"Yeah. Long time."

They watched in silence as the plane descended over the densely populated area where the airport was located. Miles and miles of houses, as far as the eye could see.

"What are we going to do for the next couple of hours?" Buffy asked.

"I don’t know. Guess we’ll just find the restaurant and wait," Willow answered.

"Too bad the airport doesn’t have a mall."

"Probably has some little gift stores."

"That will kill about 10 minutes."

"Yeah."

Buffy looked up, then she smiled. "Look," she said, pointing toward the crowd.

Willow looked around, then started to grin, as she saw a three-foot, helium filled Mylar balloon. It was shaped like a yellow crayon. And standing there, holding it was a man with an eye patch, sporting a fake parrot on one shoulder. Xander.

Willow took off running, nearly knocking him over, "Xander, Xander, you made it, you’re early!"

"Hey Willow! You didn’t really think I wouldn’t be here, did you?"

"I thought you had to work."

"Yeah, but lucky for me, I know the boss."

Buffy walked up smiling.

Xander and Willow let go of each other.

"Buffy," Xander said smiling, then opened up his arms to her.

She threw her arms around him, overcome, "Xander, it’s so good to see you!"

"You, too, Buffy, you, too."

He stepped back, "Let me look at you two. You guys look great! I see you’ve even got tans. Guys been at the beach a lot lately?" he asked.

They nodded. "Actually, yes," Willow said. "For the past 9 days or so. In Michigan."

"Michigan?"

"Yeah, it’s long story, which is why we came to talk to you in person."

"I know. Look, I got my truck outside, and I got lunch reservations in Manhattan for us."

"Manhattan?" Buffy and Willow both asked, eyes wide.

"Sure, it’s only about 30 minutes from here. Well, probably more than an hour with traffic, but your return flight isn’t until around 4:00pm, right?"

They nodded.

"Well, you didn’t think I would let my girls just fly in and eat crappy airport food, did you?"

Again, they shook their head.

"Okay then, let’s go," Xander said, and offered an arm to each of them.

An hour and fifteen minutes later, after parking in what had to be the highest priced garage in Manhattan, they walked the 2 blocks to The Tavern on the Green.

"I’ve heard of this place," said Willow.

Buffy was just in awe, being in New York.

Xander held the door for them and went up to the Maitre ‘d. "Reservations for three, Harris," he said.

"Very good, you’re in the Crystal Room, sir. If you’ll follow me?"

They followed the Maitre ‘d through until they came to the Crystal Room. The room called that for the shimmering crystal chandeliers, which hung from the ceilings had glass walls offering looking out on Central Park.

"Wow!" Buffy said.

"I’ll second that!" Willow echoed.

They were seated, and gave the waiter their drink orders, while looking at the menu.

"Xander, you didn’t have to do this. It’s awfully…expensive," Willow said, gulping.

"No worries, ladies. Boss has an expense account here. We did some remodeling on the owner’s home a couple of years ago. He made a deal of some sort, so we get the stuff almost for free. Works out nice, when we have to take a client to lunch. Impresses them."

"I’m impressed," Buffy said.

"Me, too," Willow agreed.

They ordered lunch off of the summer lunch selection. Buffy ordered Hearts of Romaine Salad for her first course and Cold Poached Salmon for her second.

Willow ordered Tomato Gazpacho for her first course and Penne Alla Norma for her second.

Xander ordered Penne Alla Norma for his first course and Southwestern Frittata for his second.

On the way into the city they had talked mostly about Xander and his family. He had showed them pictures of his son and baby daughter, as well as of his wife, Angela.

Willow waited until they after they were having their coffees and deserts before speaking.

She cleared her throat, "Um, Xander, the reason Buffy and I came to see you was to ask you for a favor. It’s a big one and we didn’t want to ask you over the phone."

He put down his fork, looking nervous, "I figured it must be, or you would have just asked me over the phone. What is it? Another Apocalypse looming?"

"No, nothing like that. No new ones that we know of," Willow said, smiling.

Xander let out a breath, "Glad to hear that, because now I have kids to think about, if anything…" he just shook his head.

"Xander," Buffy started, "you know about what happened in the cavern, under the Hellmouth, right? You know that Spike was wearing the amulet that Angel had brought from L.A. and how he was originally planning on wearing it himself?"

"Yeah, I kind of picked up bits and pieces of that back then."

Buffy continued, "And you know what happened to Spike?" she asked softly.

Xander looked at her, "Yeah, Buffy, I do. And over these years I’ve felt guilty for not having told you how sorry I was that he was killed during the fight."

Buffy nodded, "It wasn’t just that he was killed, it was that the power of the amulet that he channeled that made the rest of the ubervamps explode, it’s what caused the Hellmouth and all of Sunnydale to collapse. I asked him to leave, once it was clear that the cave was beginning to collapse. I told him he’d done enough, but he said he had to see it through, wanted to see how it would end."

Xander was looking intently at Buffy; "He could have escaped with you?"

Buffy nodded, "I think so. All he had to do is to take the amulet off and follow me up the stairs."

Xander whistled softly through his teeth. "I had no idea that he…I don’t know what I thought. I just thought he was a casualty, more or less like some of the potentials, and like Anya, " he said, sadness in his voice. "He really did that?"

Both Buffy and Willow nodded.

"He died saving the world, Xander. Not just for Buffy’s sake," Willow said, "for all our sakes, for the sake of the world, itself."

"I would have stayed with him," Buffy said, "but he made me leave; wanted me to have a normal life." She laughed softly, shaking her head, "Remember when I used to always talk about wishing I could have that?"

Xander nodded.

"You know I was going to school, right?" Buffy asked, after a few moments.

"Yeah, Dawn told me," he said, "though, you could have told me yourself, Buffy."

"I’m sorry, Xan, I just…at first I didn’t talk to anyone much. I just…needed to figure out what I was going to do with my ‘normal life’ so to speak. And then, after a while, it just seemed like…it felt like I would have been intruding on your life, on Willow’s life. You guys did so much for me, all those years, over and over again. I just sort of figured that you needed your own space to…move forward. Especially you Xander. I was so happy to hear that you got married and had babies," she said smiling.

"Well, think Angela would take exception, if you told her that ‘I’ had babies," he said, grinning.

"So, back to what I was saying…"

Buffy went on for the next half-hour telling Xander how she’d seen the picture of the amulet in the display case at the university and how her and Dawn tracked it to Chicago. How Willow had found out about the prophecy, and what it had said about the Shanshu prophecy.

"Wait, wait," Xander said, as he held up his hands, trying to take it all in, "you’re telling me that Spike is supposed to come back?"

"Yes. He is," she said, looking at Xander, "he did."

"Did? You mean, he’s alive?" he almost shouted, causing patrons at the nearby tables to look their way.

"Not only alive, but he’s human, Xander. 100%, completely human."

"Good Godfrey Cambridge!"

Buffy told how, with Andrew’s help and the call from Leroy, she’d tracked him down from the museum to the hospital. Willow filled in the details of how her, Dawn, and Buffy, as well as Dr. Turner and Leroy, helped him escape from almost being taken to Angel.

Xander whistled. "Spike’s with you now?"

"Yes. More accurately, William is with me, with us now. Dawn’s watching over him while we’re away today."

"What’s he like? I can’t even imagine," Xander asked.

"He only has the memories that he had prior to Drusilla turning him. He only has William’s memories. So, up to about 1880."

"1880’s Spike? Victorian Spike? That’s a good one!" Xander snorted.

Buffy looked at him, a bit hurt. "He’s a good man, Xander. William is a good man. Just like Spike was, only some people just couldn’t or wouldn’t see it, even after he’d went away to get his soul back," Buffy said a bit too sharply.

Xander looked at her, "I’m sorry Buffy, I know now that you felt the same about him that I did about Anya."

Buffy sighed, nodding, "Not all your fault, Xander. I gave a lot of mixed signals, not only to Spike, but also to everyone around me as to what he and I did share, what he meant to me; I didn’t always own up to it, myself. And, I understand why you felt the way you did, but he did change, even before he died."

"So, Xander, here’s the favor Willow and I have come all the way across the country to ask you. Spike is, rather William is, very much like a child in some ways, that is to say, he’s very innocent of all that he was for the past 100+ years. Between the three of us, he’s only begun to learn about the world of 2008…"

"Plus, everything between 1880 and 2008," Willow interjected.

"William had never seen a telephone, a computer, never rode in a car, had electricity, you name it, he doesn’t remember any of this, or any of Spike’s life," Buffy said.

"For the past 11 days," she continued, "I’ve, rather, we’ve tried to integrate as many new experiences into his life as possible, while still giving him time to recuperate from the hospital ordeal, from a life threatening situation that was not of his making. He’s been to the beach, ridden in a car, gotten a haircut, and gone to Walmart. That’s been the extent of it, and that’s been a lot for him to take in."

"We’re in a ‘borrowed’ cabin and I have to get him back home; across the country to California. I don’t see how I can possibly expect him to get on a plane, so we thought we might rent an RV, and take it nice and easy."

"And what do you need from me, Buffy?" Xander asked.

"I was hoping, if it’s possible, for you to help us make the drive. I would pay for your flight out to meet up with us, of course. If, all things considered, you’d want to."

"There’s something else, too."

"What’s that, Buff?"

"That you only consider it, if you think that you can accept Spike, or, rather William now. He doesn’t know about the past, and I don’t want him to. At least not right now. If you have any ill feelings toward him, that might come out, then…well, I’ll understand. No hard feelings, okay? I…I just can’t subject him to any more hurt. He’s fragile. I don’t want him hurt. God knows; he’s been hurt enough. As William before, as Spike, as William even now," Buffy said, her eyes getting moist. "It’s been the one constant in his life, and unlife. I know. I caused enough of it myself."

"In all fairness, Buffy, he caused enough of it himself!"

"He was a demon, Xander. And even then…oh, what’s the use? Look Xander, forget I asked! Willow; let’s get going. Xander, could you give us a ride back to the airport?" Buffy asked, standing up.

"Buffy, I’m sorry, I don’t want to argue with you. Sit down! It’s just a lot to take in, okay?"

Buffy sat down, keeping her eyes on the coffee cup before her.

"But I just can’t help be a bit selfish here. I’ve got to consider my family now, my ‘babies,’ if you will, and Angela. I can’t risk taking a trip across country if there’s a chance that Angel is going to try to come after ‘William’ like you said he did at the hospital."

"Oh, Xander, I forgot to tell you, because of Spike’s sacrifice, my coven bestowed on me, very strong, very special powers to protect him and Buffy from all supernatural interventions for the next 2 years. Anybody helping him is also protected, automatically," Willow said.

"I see," Xander said, thoughtfully.

"I’ll think about it Buffy. When do you have to know?"

Buffy looked up into her old friend’s eyes. "By the end of week. We’ll probably need the last week there to make arrangements, rent the RV, etc."

"I’ll let you know in a couple of days."

They were mostly quiet on the way back to the airport, talking mostly of Dawn and what they’d done for the past 5 years.

Xander pulled the truck up to the terminal gate; "I promise I’ll let you know, Buffy. Tell Dawn I said hello and that I miss her bunches."

"I will. And Xander, no matter what you decide, you know I love you, don’t you?"

Xander nodded, "I love you, too. You, too Willow!"

"Well, duh!" Willow said, and leaned over giving him a long hug and a kiss.

"Bye guys!" Xander said, as they got out.

"Bye Xander, give our love to your little ones and Angela," Willow said.

"Will do," he said, as he waved to them.

END OF CHAPTER 60

CONT. CH. 61 - 65

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