Taken June 5, 2004 (my birthday) at Moonlight Rising - PA

My God, the man is beautiful, isn't he? I love the smile he's wearing! Especially, since I don't remember the physical moment of the picture, or our arms around each other at all.

I had given him a piece of birthday cake - it was in a styrofoam thing in a bag, along with some other stuff - and I was trying to tell him about this movie called Scotland, PA, which had won a Sundance Film Award, and was based on Macbeth - only takes place in a 70's diner. Except...I can't remember the name of the movie, as I'm standing there in the 'Jamesfog' Anyway, Craig is like, "Picture!" so I hurriedly handed my bag of goodies to the volunteer (think it was Violetspike) and struck the pose.

I think I was more perturbed by being 'interrupted' since I was talking to James, than worried about the picture.

However, besides me not liking my extra chin...I think it's a lovely picture.

And again, my God, the man is pretty, esp. when he's smiling like that!

Overall, I had a great time. April had a blast, hanging with her new friends (she always makes some, wherever she goes. Not a shy bone in that kid's body - she even got up at the end of the improv and did a 'thing' with the group - she loves to be the center of attention.

When I got there (on a 50-seat cattle car - we were in the last row, and I got to be the 'bathroom' monitor. "Sorry, someone is in there." "It's empty." etc. Smelled like an outhouse...oh well, we were on our way.

The morning I left, my eye was looking sort of glassy and weird. On top of the million other thoughts, one that went through my head was, "Hey, maybe I should look for those antibiotic drops which I had when I had a scratch." But did I? Nooooo! That thought got quickly pushed out by the other million thoughts competing for space. Packed Tums, and cough, and ibuprofen, and the kitchen sink...but not what it turns out I really needed!

Met up with MildlyBatty at the O'Hare - it was the first time we'd met and we hit it off right away. She was originally going to sit next to me, but when I decided to bring April, she was nice enough to change seats with me. She even brought me a birthday card!

Our roommate Tracy, from Boston drove to the airport after checking herself in, to pick us all up. A really nice thing to do, considering it was like 30 miles away.

We had dinner, then gathered in Deni's suite (owner/mod of morethanspike) and got to meet Bitten (she presented JM with something in London) and some of the other gals from the board. There was also an English gal (well, orig. she was from the states) named Ruth - goes by Wilderness Child. Anyway...Bitten is from Melbourne, I believe...she works for the Australian govt. there and is just touring around the world for a month or 6 weeks. Nice! It's so cool - the people you get to meet. Her and Deni were (post-con) going with another member back to Wash, D.C. to tour that city, and then a few of the other members are staying with her while JM is in Australia.

I love James (duh!) but I have gotten so much more out of the whole thing, in the area of new friends, than I ever would've dreamed.

Okay...so next morning, I wake up, my eye is all oozy, gooey, puffy...great, I truly have an infection. Actually, the night before in Deni's room, I pretty much figured that out. So...nice roommate with car, takes me 30 miles to an Emergency Room to get a prescription for antibiotic eye drops. My thought is that at least it's not the day of the photo shoot. By the next morning, it's much better.

But I look down at my foot, and my toe is all bloody. I had a hang nail, but this was way more - so I'm like WTF? Call down to the front desk for something else I didn't have with me - bandages! It was on the list - oops! Oh, and my heel spur is acting up, so basically, I'm falling apart top and bottom. LOL

Go to the photo shoot - and instead of it being private - behind a partition, like it was in Chicago (and other places, so I've heard) it's out in the open - you see the 100 people before you getting their photos.

So...I walk up to him, and say, "Thanks for saying hello to me on FCUK-FM - I'm Serene, I was the one who was coming to see you on my birthday." and James says, "Yeah, I was so nervous."

Me. Pauses, thinking, "He was nervous to say my name?" How cute is that?

James. "...I'm not used to being a discjockey."

Me, to self - duh!

So...I have a bag of goodies for him - my letter (long letter), a piece of chocolate cake, which my roommate had brought me from Boston, Scotland, PA (a movie based on Macbeth - only takes place in a 70's diner) and a copy of the FCUK-FM broadcast that someone in the UK sent me. Anyway, I babble - damn I always babble in front of him, trying to tell him what I brought him, etc. Couldn't even remember the name of the movie, he asks, "Roman Polanski?" Me: "God no!" and proceed to try to open up the bag, which I wind up tearing, so that I can get to the movie.

I ask him, "Can I get a kiss, since it's my birthday?" or "Can I get a birthday kiss?" and he turns to me...his lips are literally 2" from mine. Later on a woman at the hotel bar, tells me she saw that - that we'd turned to face each other and that any closer and we would've been touching noses.

Spike Lips, Lips of Spike! Or...James Lips, Lips of James!

Anyway, he looks back over towards the 'audience' and then says, "I'm sorry, I can't."

Me...deflated - "That's okay."

Photographer - "Picture!" I don't know if that was before or after. Think maybe before. Damn him, he was interupting my 'moment' !

As I'm turning to leave James says, "I would if I could."

uh-huh...

felt a bit rejected...

Okay, in all honesty, didn't see him kissing any of the other 116 people before me that day.

Added: Oh, and orig. I was supposed to get my pic on Sun., but wanted it on Sat. b'cuz it was my birthday. Then, didn't get in on the extra photo shoots offered for Sunday...and that's the day he was playful, hugging, kissing, biting, joking...not that I'm jealous. Really. I mean, he's a human, and therefore, his mood is different just like all of ours is day to day. Not jealous. Nope.

TBC...

Later that same day, wound up working the exit door in the autograph room with Tommy O' the guard. He was a really nice guy, who would later be James' security guard for what he thought was going to be 12 hours (5p-5a) but wound up much longer. Hey, Tommy doesn't need any sleep. LOL

And to think, I had an 'in' with James' security guard and didn't even try to use it. *pats self on back* *kicks self in ass* Just kidding.

So, I got to be 'Da Man' for a while, and say things like, "Sorry ma'am, it's my job!" as I tell people they can't go back in the exit door, but have to go around. What a hard gig. Yeah. No, not hard, but just necessary to keep track of people, and to make sure only the people still waiting for their autographs were in the room, though people looking for other people were allowed in - the entrance door that is.

So, concerts that night. Common Rotation was without reproach as far as their music or execution of their music went. They were great. However, I don't much care for them on a personal level, so didn't mean as much to me.

Go up to very close to the stage at first, then we're told to sit down, come back, same thing, finally wind up about 6 rows of people back. The thing I find out later, is that Aria had volunteers up close (first 3 rows) I was a volunteer, but somehow, didn't get the memo. Another missed opportunity that weekend. Still, have a good time, if not any dignity, as I wave my very bright glow stick around, mostly towards James direction. Think he looked at me a few times, at least so it seemed. One can only hope, right? Oh, at first I'd bought a glowstick from some woman walking around outside (charity thing) for $2.00, but when I open it up, it's all gooey. Nice girl next to me, has not only a handi-wipe, but a really bright one used for camping, so I was armed with a very glowy-glow stick.

7-29-04

Thought I should update this a bit before I totally forget it.

Overall, I had a blast at the convention, especially meeting people that I'd only previously 'met' on the morethanspike or marster's mobsters boards. After the concert had so much fun with Mindy, Chicago Molly, Lin, and a couple of other's (sorry, it's been a while now, and my memory is sucking!) upstairs on the 2nd floor, sitting on a couch, drinking a beer. April came and hung with us a bit, and got to see that older women can have and be lots of fun, too. I suppose that she doesn't rate it as fun in a 'teenage' sense of the word, but think it's always a good thing when you're children can see you as a real person, instead of some idea they have of you in their heads.

Next day, had something I really felt compelled to do, so went back to the lodge, and got a wire crossed about what time James was speaking, so missed everything but the last 10 mins. I really regret that, except for the fact, that from where I sat and from where most people sat...(oh...and I had upgraded my tkt, b'cuz I was on the far right side and wanted closer and center - and according to a seating chart, that's where I would've been...turns out, my new and improved tkt was far right side) couldn't hear a thing anyway. Put your hand over your mouth as tight as you can and speak into it...that's what the sound system was like - totally sucked!!!

After that, worked the autograph line for the first 400, then James took a break and did the next 300+ or so. The volunteers were at the end. I tried to be very last, but alas, some people presenting him with a guitar got that spot, which was okay.

Anyway, April had been about 10 before me or so, but she was sort of sitting at this table nearby to listen (darn her! she makes me nervous and reminds me of all the times she made fun of me throughout the year!) when I get up there.

So, the moment arrives, and I give him my offerings (LOL) - which mainly is a bunch of CD's I burned for him from some of my CD's, some mixes, plus an original Joni Mitchell (which I burned for myself...she means a lot to me, and he's inspired me the way she has...so wanted him to have that original - BTW, it was Don Juan's Reckless Daughter (gave him some of hers last year, too). So, they're rubberbanded, and ribboned (ribbon has seen better days at this point of travel) and on the top, tied on is an Eeyore Pez dispenser. Not just any Eeyore Pez dispenser, mind you, but one I painted platinum Spike hair on, and gave it fangs!

So, I'm explaining this to James, and he's like, "You vamped out Eeyore!" And I, in my infinte Jamesfog, self-conscious babbling self, glance over at April, and tell him this, "Yeah, my daughter's like, "Mom, you're such a loser," to which he replies, "You're not a loser."

And there you have it folks, the James Marster's quote of the year to spikealicious - "James Marster's says Serene isn't a loser." LOL!

Even my mom was like, "You said that?"

Maybe I'll go with the "You vamped out Eeyore!" as my quote-of-the-year instead. April said (and damned if I remember this, what with being in the Jamesfog, and all) that he looked like a little boy at Christmas as he was holding up the package of CD's examining Eeyore. I think she may have just felt sorry for me, since if she hadn't been sitting right there, I might not have said something so damned stupid - something else, yes, but not that.

Then I gave him a CD with the story Christmas Eve in William's Room - (and for those of you that have snarked at me for what is a personal decision in this manner- well, tough shit, okay?) and had him sign a cover for One Normal Life / Two Extraordinary Lives - if I ever print them out - like he did for a couple of other fics I wrote. I asked him if he'd read the letter I'd written and given to him at the photo shoot, but he said he hadn't had time. The reason being, is that the cover of the story has a picture done for me by Evenstar, and I was trying to explain to him that she was the same person who he has a picture of him that she did...but since he didn't read the letter, which had copies of those and the ones she did of Harry Dresden and Jim Butcher, and since this was a photoshop manipulation, he didn't understand, since this pic didn't have what is her personal, unmistakeable style.

Maybe when she sees him in Oakland, he'll get it then (when she gives him another picture).

So, babbled that it wasn't the story I was giving him now, since it was about 400,000 words and still unfinished, and that CEiWR was only (ha! only!) about 20,000.

Also gave him a letter I'd handwritten that day. I asked him how he was, since the night before (I was truly worried about him) and he said he was fine, great. Something like that. I asked him if I could give him a hug, and he stood up, and we hugged across the table, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Now that April didn't see!  Unfortunately, I don't remember much of either, only that I know I did.

Really, I swear I did!

More later....time to update!